Gaining perspective and wonder in "FOR SMALL CREATURES SUCH AS WE" by Sasha Sagan

 

"I do now have an increased urge to celebrate things with our daughter. ... But I can’t go through the motions. I can’t bring myself to tell her anything I don’t believe is true.

So I find myself eager to map out a year that is sometimes inspired and informed by the practices and beliefs of her ancestors on both sides, but not shackled by them. 

I want to create moments that make us feel united with other Earthlings, without the dogma that divides us. Religion, at its best, facilitates empathy, gratitude, and awe. Science, at its best, reveals true grandeur beyond our wildest dreams. My hope is that I can merge these into some new thing that will serve my daughter, my family, and you, dear reader, as we navigate—and celebrate—the mysterious beauty and terror of being alive in our universe."  SS

"Rituals for finding meaning in our unlikely world" is the subtitle of Sasha Sagan's book. I never imagined that I would find a way back to appreciating ritual, thanks to the daughter of Carl Sagan.   I don't usually include the fathers of my authors, but this time, since the title of the book was taken from one of Carl's quotes, I thought including his picture with that very quote would be significant.  

I haven't read anything by Carl Sagan yet.  So Sasha was my introduction to her famous father. 

 

"My father was a scientist. He was the astronomer and educator Carl Sagan. Science wasn’t just his occupation, it was the source of his worldview, his philosophy, his guiding principles. He and my mom, writer and producer Ann Druyan, taught me that belief requires evidence. They taught me that science wasn’t just a set of facts to be compared and contrasted with other philosophies but a way of testing ideas to see which ones stand up to scrutiny. They taught me that what scientists think today might be disproven tomorrow, and that’s wonderful, because that’s the pathway to a better, deeper understanding." SS

I always admire people who grow up in the care of great people, but find a way out of the shadow to have a voice in the world on their own.  Sasha Sagan is one of those people.  Her voice draws me into the realization that rituals are a part of life, not just the evidence of a decaying religious system.  

The greatest minds in history have often been wrong about lots of stuff. But the defining difference between science and religion is that you’re a better scientist if you take the ideas of the people who came before you, the people whose shoulders you stand on, the people who taught you everything you know—your teachers, your heroes, your mentors—and disprove them. Then you’ve done your job. Doing the same does not make you a better pastor, rabbi, cleric, or monk; upholding tradition does. SS

I still have baggage that I want to toss.  The baggage isn't so much the rituals or the idea of rituals, it is the meaninglessness I have felt being around and involved in various rituals. More often than not, I find no value in the repetition of religion.  Maybe there is value somewhere, I have just lost the ability to appreciate it.  

“Maruja says when you die you go to heaven and there are angels playing harps and you’re with God. And you guys say it’s like you’re asleep forever with no dreams. Who is right?”

My parents, without missing a beat, said in unison, “Nobody knows!”

And they didn’t just say it. They announced it like good news, joyful, enthusiastic, beaming.

This exchange was revelatory for me. Not because it gave me any clarity on the mystery of death, but because it gave me a window into the nature of life. It taught me that there is no shame in not knowing. Uncertainty is real. It need not be glossed over or buried. We can embrace it, even while we try to understand what we can.

I didn't grow up with an appreciation for uncertainty.  That came much later.  Someone had to be right, and it was usually my father.  I don't remember hearing an "I don't know" come out of his lips.  Maybe he was uncertain about some things, but I don't remember him confessing those moments to me.  But back then, what dad did? ... I guess Carl Sagan had the courage to admit that he didn't know.

 "We owe the sun our lives.
If worship is, at least in part, about gratitude, about bowing down to the source of our blessings and bounties, then our bright, hot neighbor fits the bill perfectly. And for this reason, a vast array of human belief systems have featured a sun god." SS 

I was first impressed with the idea of  gratitude coming from a non-religious perspective, when I read A.J. Jacob's book " Thanks a Thousand" .  Gratitude was more hands on and practical with A.J. and it seems like that is what resonates with Sasha... the practicality of gratitude.  

"What a simple, elegant gesture a clap is to show gratitude. We use it so freely to show appreciation for a speech or a performance; why not just one for a meal?

In the last few years Jon and I have taken to a very informal version of this sort of thing. Mostly it’s along the lines of “Thank you, farmers, thank you, fishies.” This is in part for Helena’s benefit. But feeling gratitude is not enough. Fasting is not enough. These rituals must compel direct action..." SS

I really liked how Sasha took me on a journey through the year, through the solstices, through the traditions and through the trauma of ritual and out the other side to something better.  

 "It was there, away from all the familial holiday pressure, that we first felt free enough to make our own traditions. Based not on what we were used to but on what we actually believed." SS 

"Christmas and Easter are hard times for me, because they are traditionally family times for gathering together, but the emphasis is on the religious tradition, more than the family gathering.  I guess that is why I have been soured toward rituals.  They have taken me away from my family.  But like Sasha, I am finding space to embrace the annual happenings, but in a fresh light that doesn't get me so depressed every time that time of year rolls around.  

"There is one more way I time travel back to my father. When I was little he told me that air particles stay in our atmosphere for such a long time that we breathe the same air as the people who lived thousands of years ago. I think about that often now. I can take a deep breath and know that some fraction of those particles were once breathed by my dad. What an intimate thing it is to breathe the air of someone you loved." SS

Okay... this was the best take away from the book for me.  Not since I had to let go of Heaven -- of the thought of  reuniting with my loved ones after I die, have I had such a great connection with them.   Just breathing brings my dad and my nephew and my grandparents back to me in such a profound way.  Thank you Sasha for that little nugget.  I don't think I will ever breathe the same again!   

"I hope it’s clear that this book is a tribute and a love letter to my parents, Ann Druyan and Carl Sagan. I cannot begin to express my gratitude that in all the randomness I ended up with them. Nothing in my life would be possible without them. I am who I am because of their love, their wisdom, their generosity, and their confidence in me." SS 

"DO I STAY CHRISTIAN" by Brian McLaren Pt 3 HOW

Part 1 link

Part 2 link

"You may also find that if you inhabit the space of Harmony or Solidarity long enough, it will matter less to you whether others consider you a Christian … or not. The label simply won’t matter so much. You will know who you are, where you’ve been, what you’re becoming, what direction you’re going, what you’re seeking, and what you value." BM

This book took me five days to read.  That may seem fast for such an intense thought provoking read, but I assure you... I got a lot out of this.  I will remind myself in years to come that I can only do this because I don't have to exist outside of my home for forty plus hours a week.  

"Because whether you identify as a Christian or not, you are still a human being, and you are still passing through life’s stages.

The labels haven't mattered to me personally, but when I've navigated out in the world, I thought it helpful to have something to mark my milestones.  But maybe... just maybe, I can return to my initial passion.  The labels don't matter.  I am a Human Being.  If I got anything out of this book... I got that.  

I hope you can sit with that simple realization for a while. Maybe take a walk or ponder it over a fresh cup of tea or coffee. Don’t turn the page until you let this realization set in: You’re a human being on a human journey of growth and development—whether you stay Christian or not. You have miles to go before you sleep.

And the same is true of everyone else." BM

I still have some assumptions about Christianity as a whole that keep me from ever wanting to embrace the label for my journey again.  

1. Most of Christianity has expectations of its adherents... and unless you fulfil or, at the very least,  admit you are work towards embracing those expectations, you don't qualify for the label.  (Jesus divinity', Jesus' resurrection, Bible as authoritative, Heaven and Hell are real places, Christianity as the desired club for every member of the planet.)  

2. Christianity has too many divisions to ever have the hope of being united enough for the label of Christian to have any significant meaning for me. 

3. Christianity is a religion not a relationship.  (contrary to certain internet memes).  Maybe there is a relationship somewhere to be had... but it's not in the bathwater of Christianity. 

All that being said... there are people who still value the label.  Brian McLaren still values the label.  It almost seems like he wants to redeem it.  Kudos, Brian for trying... but I am reminded of something Bart Campolo said at the Wild Goose Festival in 2021.  

"When I see you progressive Christians at Wild Goose trying to remake Christianity into a gay friendly, inclusive, warm and wonderful, nobody's going to hell, universalist narrative.  I think you guys are brilliant... but you remind me of a bunch of engineers trying to take a submarine and retrofit it to fly. I have no doubt that with the proper engineering skills you can take a submarine and make it fly.  But wouldn't it be easier to just start from scratch and just build an airplane?"  Bart Campolo

I guess my question is... is there a way to build an airplane now... after we have been flooded with so many submarines.  Is there any hope to start with something new and fresh?  

"You may choose not to use the word God to describe that transcendent, loving, cosmic desire for the well-being of all. You have reasons not to, I’m sure, and I hope you can make room for those who do. Or you may use the word God freely, sincerely, and joyfully. You have reasons to do so, I’m sure, and I hope you’ll make room for those who don’t. Don’t let the language you use to describe the unifying desire distract you from it!" BM

Making room for each other.  That is what I want to see happen in my world.  I want to live in a world where we can make room for each other.  Where labels don't matter.  Where beliefs are secondary to values like love, kindness and compassion.  Maybe if we loved more and feared less...  

"The only way to get rid of our enemies is to turn them into friends," BM

That was one of my favourite quotes in the whole book.  Great takeaway.  

"But again, better to be rejected for who you are than accepted for who you’re not." BM

This one is a hard one to embrace.  This means I can look forward to more rejection because of my need for authenticity. (Enneagram 4 here...  Yee Haw!!!)  I agree, but then I look into the face of someone and I say nothing... because "I'd rather be loved than be right."  People matter to me. My take on how to navigate this world, doesn't seem as important in that moment.  

"Naked of our religious labels, we are fragile human beings who were born but a moment ago, who are here for maybe seventy or eighty circuits around the sun, and who will surely die. Surely we don’t think we’ve figured everything out so quickly!" BM

My desire is that I live out the rest of my days in continuous appreciation for what I have and wonder for what amazes me, but still eludes my comprehension.  

I don't think at this point that I even want to find my way back to any certainty I had, or look ahead to any certainty I could find.  I hear more and more from wiser minds than mine, that there is a sacred space to be found in the unknowingness of life.  I don't need answers and conclusions any more than I need labels.  So if all I am left with is the great "I don't know"  then I will will be a Happy Agnostic.  

“Home isn’t the name of your tree. Home is the name of your song. Wherever you sing your song, that is your home.” BM

Thank you Brian McLaren for gracefully allowing space for me to be me.   I had already answered your title question years ago, but today, I feel less of an inward angst toward my answer.  I still don't know how my conversations with my people will unfold down the road.  But I hope they have as much grace.  Maybe I can recommend the read this book if they need to find some.  

I end this post with seems like a benediction for Post Christians... The ones who still answer "No".  

"May you become an even better human being outside the Christian religion than you ever were within it. May you bring with you whatever good things you gained from your Christian experience and leave behind all extra baggage. May the song of your life inspire others—including your Christian neighbors—toward a better way of being human, of being alive." BM

"DO I STAY CHRISTIAN" by Brian McLaren Pt 2 YES

 

(Part 1 link)

“I just feel like people are quitting the marathon when they’re only a couple hundred yards from the finish line. And every person who quits makes it a little harder for those of us who are still running the race.” (Seth) 

"I like waking up to the sunshine, instead of an alarm clock.  The morning is inviting me into being."

Those are the words I told my husband this morning.  I am still in bed feeling... feeling like I've been inviting into being.  I just finished Part 2 and the trepidation I felt as I entered... 

YES

has left me.  I was not agnostic or atheist being ambushed by what Christianity was residual in me.  I was encouraged in the space I was in, and even welcomed into something profound.  

"In this light, Christianity looks very different to me. Instead of an old, mature, fully formed, maybe even worn-out religion, I see it as a religion still in its earliest infancy. And that raises a new question for me: If I leave the Christian community and conversation, will I be abandoning an infant, speaking in terms of deep evolutionary time?

I remind myself: the universe isn’t in a hurry by human standards. It has been unfolding and expanding, diversifying and beautifying in its current form for 13.7 billion years. I remind myself: if we compressed the universe’s whole existence into one year, our planet doesn’t even form until September 11. The first forms of life don’t emerge on Earth until around September 30, but no multi-cellular organisms evolve until December 14. The dinosaurs rule the earth from December 27 to 30, and the first humans don’t appear until December 31 at 11:39 p.m. Jesus comes on the scene at 11:59:56, which means that all of Christianity has existed for a mere four seconds. Four seconds!" BM

My biggest struggle in the last few years has been "What do I do with a 2000 year old narrative that I have no confidence in anymore.  Well... What about a 13.7 billion year narrative.  Is that any less of a challenge to embrace?  Maybe, but my imagination can take me there.  My imagination and wonder has more power to embrace billions of years of evolution... than two millennia of religious interpretation of on old collection of stories.  Four seconds... Wow.  That puts things into perspective for me.  

"If we walk this path through immaturity, we will come to acknowledge that all our theological language (including the word God itself) is poetic. We use words to point to encounters and relationships that those words can never fully capture." BM

I have a list in my head of things in my head that I inherited from my Christian past that I don't need anymore.  They are baggage and a hindrance on my journey.  I was amazed to find that Brian has a list like mine.  

" - No, I don’t need an evacuation-plan gospel that tells me this world is hopelessly sinking...

 - No, I don’t need the Bible as an inerrant revelation of simplistic answers...

 - No, I don’t need a comforting spirituality as a tranquilizer to calm my imagination and soothe me into compliant complacency...

 - No, I don’t need prayers that reassure me that the future is pre-determined, God is in control, and God will fix everything...

 - No, I don’t need sermons that interpret the Bible as the biblical literalists do, ignoring its literary depth..." BM

And the best of all... that one gem I am hoping isn't lost to me.  That one picture that I really need to let go of and a new hope I long to embrace.  

"No, I don’t need a Jesus whose job is to police the gates of heaven, keeping out all who don’t hold the correct beliefs. But I do need the Jesus whose life and message bring unique treasures to earth, treasures that I can share with people of every religion and no religion, just as I remain open to the unique treasures they offer me."BM

I don't feel alone this morning.  I don't feel hopeless.  I don't really feel changed, but I do feel aware of new possibilities and a new way of seeing life.  I am still who I was, but maybe there is something better to dream of.  

"It’s still not too late, if we dare to see, if we dare to believe, if we can relax our death grip on the past and reach forward into the future with eyes and hearts wide open... 

That larger question—of the shape and goal of our life together, whether or not we identify as Christian—will frame Part III of this book." BM

(Read on: Part 3) 

"DO I STAY CHRISTIAN?" by Brian McLaren Pt 1: NO

"In telling you all this from the start, I hope you will understand my purpose for this book. I am not writing this book to convince you (or myself) to stay Christian. Nor am I writing this book to convince you (or myself) to leave Christian identity behind forever. Instead, I want to think through the question of retaining or shedding Christian identity with you looking over my shoulder. And I want us to consider how we are going to live, whether or not we identify as Christian.

So in Part I of the book, I present the best reasons I am aware of for answering “Do I stay Christian?” with a decisive no. If Christianity has been nothing but a blessing to you personally, this section may be painful and disruptive for you to read. But I plead with you to grapple with it humbly, honestly, with eyes and heart wide open."  BM

Okay, let's stop there.  When I blogged on Brian's last book, Faith after Doubt,  I split it into two posts.  This book is split into three sections, so I will do three blog posts for each section.  This blog post is about the ... 

NO

I have been waiting for this book.  I downloaded it this morning and plowed through the first ten chapters of the first section.  Contrary to what Brian said... this was not painful in the sense that I was shocked about the atrocities committed in the name of "God", I was aware of most of the stories,  but it was heartbreaking in the sense that Christianity has actually sustained itself in this nightmare of an identity.  I am disgusted that there isn't more awareness in our culture of the bloody Christian history.  

"Through sermons, books, radio/TV “ministries,” and other media, I was repeatedly informed about the worst atrocities across history committed by non-Christians. (But about our own Christian atrocities, I was kept shockingly ignorant.)

In short, I was taught my religion’s historical upsides and few of its downsides, and I was taught about other religions’ historical downsides and few of their upsides.

That’s a perfect recipe for creating ignorant and arrogant religious jerks." BM

I'm not going to list those atrocities here... you can read the book for a list of those.  But I don't remember being enlightened about most of those events in church, Sunday school or even bible school.  Who wants to bring that stuff up.  It doesn't help with the bottom line of the business.  

"Wherever Christians have gone, we have brought a legacy of schools, hospitals, and other institutions intended to improve our quality of life and the lives of others. But make no mistake: we have also brought the fourfold ultimatum of convert, leave, submit, or die, which is the unwritten contract of crusader colonial Christianity, past and present." BM

I think that would rate the highest on my list as the reason I am glad I no longer identify with the label of "Christian".  I have no motivation what so ever to convert anyone to anything but the universal experience of Love.   The whole mandate of Christianity to assimilate other species makes me ill. (a little Borg imagery from Star Trek) 

"A white Christian patriarchal universe is not a safe place for women, children, racial and religious minorities, and nonconformists, and neither is it a safe place for the earth and its nonhuman creatures." BM 

This one needs no commentary from me. It speaks for itself.  

"I look upstream and see a hump of water in front of a rock: another pattern or event. I see the stream itself … also an event. I look at the rounded rocks beneath my feet: before the stream smoothed them, they were jagged boulders on a mountain, and before that, bedrock under the mountain, and before that, fluid magma deep beneath the earth, and before that, space dust drawn into orbit around the sun. What I see as a solid round rock is just one event in a long, long story.

Then I look down to see my reflection in the water, and behold! I realize that I too am an event, a flow, a pattern of relationships!" BM

This is it!  This is how I see my world.  This is the "Flow" that I keep visualizing.  Brian McLaren is speaking my language!  

"The religion that should be leading the way could drop everything it’s doing. It could develop a spiritual vaccine—a set of habits and practices that would inoculate people against hate and fear and help them be carriers of love." BM

I am all for whatever it takes to move Love into the world and move fear out.  

I might be tempted to stop reading here.  I know what is ahead... all the reasons to stay.  But maybe it isn't about going back to what I had, but finding a new expression of Christianity I could share with those who have stayed.  Maybe there is some common ground to be had.  That is why this I need to get through this book sooner than later.  

"I am convinced that these first ten chapters do not foreclose on the rest of this book. Part I actually makes the rest of this book more necessary than ever. So when you’re ready, when you’ve let these first ten chapters settle, I hope you’ll take a deep breath, brew a fresh pot of coffee or tea, take a walk outdoors, and then turn the page to Part II." BM

(Read on... Part II Post) 

Hoping I can be "UNDIVIDED" like Patricia and Alana Raybon

 

Patricia 

"THE ELEPHANT IS IN THE ROOM, AND IT’S BIG. SO IT’S NOT MOVING. Not one turn. Not one inch. Still, my daughter and I talk around it, pretending our ten-ton problem isn’t there—insisting it will stay quiet and be okay if we just ignore the obvious and keep on moving. So we’re politely jawing about my kitchen cabinets and drawers, nicely talking about my fight to finally clean them out and make some order and find some peace.

“You're decluttering?” Alana says. “Why now? Your kitchen is fine.”

But it’s not fine. Not really. And neither are we. Not like we used to be. Or maybe never were.

Yet how can I even think such a thing? After all, I know God. I know all my God can do. That’s how I boast anyway. Most days I boast, that is.

But it’s the day before Mother’s Day. Alana has called me on the phone to say hi, tell me she loves me, wish me the best. I’m hanging on to every word, as I always do when my daughters call, ecstatic to hear their living and lovely voices. Yet with Alana, there’s always this wish: that things were different—back to the way they once were or the way I wish they’d always been, so long ago now I can’t seem to remember.

Like they were? Yes. I wish she was still a Christian. No, that’s not the whole of it. I wish on this day before Mother’s Day something more. I wish she wasn’t a Muslim. So now I’ve said it. In my heart. And right here on a page. Oh so quiet. But oh so brave. I’ve said it. Like a prayer. O my God. Not boastful. Just a desperate plea. How did my younger baby leave the faith of Christ and stop believing? "

Alana

"Why am I a Muslim? It’s the big question of my life—and the big conundrum for a mother and a father I love. But my answers aren’t simple. And neither is my life...

 I need a moment. But I can’t sleep just yet because I’m staring at my computer, trying to figure out a way to explain to my mother why I became a Muslim.

Her question doesn’t surprise me. I know that, although we smile and go along with our daily lives as if nothing is wrong, she will probably never be at peace with my decision. Still, I wonder if I will be able to talk to her about such an emotional issue."

Okay.  This is going to be a very different blog post than the others I do.  My habit is to do my blog posts when I am done reading them, and the odd time, I do it mid reading.  But this book was read years ago.  If I could, I would prefer to reread it before I do a blog post, but I have a backlog of books that I haven't read that I want to get read first.  But I have noticed that I reference "Undivided" in a few of my blog posts and I haven't done my write up on it.  So this is it.  

Most of the books I read are done with my iBooks E-Reader, so I can highlight quotes as I read.  With "Undivided" I had the hard paperback copy, and I didn't underline a thing.  Usually I am underlining the wisdom and great quotes I find along the way.  They are like unearthing treasure.  This, however, was a different kind of read.  I embraced this book as one that drew me into the relationship of two women.  My take away was more than the words, it was Love.  

Alana

"My mother and I are really good at talking about easy stuff. Every time she calls, her usual questions are “How’re the kids?,” “How’s the hubby?,” and “How’s work?” And then I rattle off my own questions about what’s going on in her life. She informs me about Dad’s choir practice and her recent trip to Saver’s, the local thrift store, where she found some “practically new” outfit for a ridiculously low price. We laugh politely and then get off the phone. But we never talk about faith."

Patricia

I look over those words, and my eyes want to spin in my head. I want to argue that there was not only talking but also perceiving. That I can’t understand how a beautiful daughter can grow up in a house with an on-site mother—a hovering, harnessing, harping, relentlessly involved mother—but say I wasn’t there.

That I didn’t talk. Implying I must not have cared.

I felt Alana's pain as I read through her part of the story.  I have often wondered how I share my differing ideas on faith, religion and life with my mother.  I think I even gave this book for my Mom to read, but we never talked about that either.  It does seem easier to talk about things like the garden, the weather, the cats and hubby's work.  But like Alana... "we never talk about faith."  Well that isn't entirely true... sometimes things come up and we add a little emotion in to the mix, but that isn't a conversation.  We don't share that part of our journeys with each other.  I wish we could, one day, when it isn't so emotional.  

I have a lot of respect for the honesty that Alana and Patricia shared their communication challenges.  Maybe one day, I can sit down with this book again and learn again what it is like to set aside the differences and be "undivided".  

"Dear Alana

... When folks worldwide are murdering each other, we are talking.  When families from pillar to post are dogging and cursing and dissing each other, we are granting grace.  I am grateful to God for that and grateful, indeed, for you.  

You stayed with me until I could offer what you demanded of me.  Respect. ...

Will we make mistakes?  Of course.  But now we know what to do.  Get back on the road... 

Thank you, sweetheart, for travelling along with me.  

Peace and Love

Mom " 

"Dear Mom

... Last, I know that deep down it is your hope that I see God as you do, just as many mothers - even I - hope for my children.  I thank you for your honesty, and I hope that as we continue to be mother and daughter, we can grow in our understanding of how to allow each other to embrace our faiths without facing scrutiny and criticism from each other.  ...

So pack your bags, Mom.  We've got work to do, and the peace train never stops.  

Love always, Alana

Rereading and rediscovering the heart behind "I SOLD MY SOUL ON BAY" by Hemant Mehta

"The god who doesn’t encourage intellectual honesty, the god who doesn’t care about the environment because “it’s all going to burn,” the god who calls the anemic words of bored worshipers going through the motions “praise,” the god who would condemn billions of people to hell simply because they haven’t said or done the proper ritual that Christians can’t even agree on …

Some gods should be rejected.

And that, of course, is what makes Hemant’s book so compelling. It’s not just that he is smart, insightful, and honest. It’s that so much of what he says is … well … true. What will strike you in the pages of this book is that Hemant isn’t angry or antagonistic. As you try to figure out what exactly his agenda is, you’ll probably arrive at the same conclusion I did.

I think he’s simply after the truth." Rob Bell (in the Forward)   

The year was 2007.  It was my last year in Calgary and I was not yet aware that I was making a move up north to my parents farm.  So many concerns and struggles were travelling the neural pathways of my cranium.  I was living in the last year of my involvement of the organized institution of church.  I don't think I was aware of that either.  Along with the others in my church, I was living in the aftermath of the "tsunami".  Some would label it as a scandal, but labels didn't describe the catastrophe that unfolded as a result of the affair between the senior pastor and the wife of the associate pastor.  This wasn't a big church... these two people and their families were part of our church family.  This was a "tsunami".  

It was in that "tsunami" aftermath that two books came across my path.  One book was "Jim and Casper go to Church" , and the other was "I Sold my Soul on Ebay.  Both books came back to me fifteen years later.  This time... I'm not a Pentecostal Christian, I'm agnostic. These are very different reads now.   Both books were a result of the inspiration of Jim Henderson.  

The winning bidder turned out to be Jim Henderson, a former minister from Seattle and author of Evangelism Without Additives...

It turned out that Jim and I had both had experiences with Christians that turned us off. Jim mentioned that his ministry paid nonreligious people to attend church services and fill out surveys reflecting their thoughts. These surveys were used to help churches tweak their services and do a better job of getting the Christian message across. HM

Okay... where are those kind of Christians?  Is Jim Henderson the only person who actually cares how the Christian message being portrayed to those who don't wear that label.  

I will be honest as I was in my blog post on "Jim and Casper go to church."  I don't think church by design is for those outside the club.  Churches are clubs, exclusive organizations meant to gather people of like minded ideals.  They may appear as gathering places that want to invite anyone in the doors... but most of them have one agenda in mind....conversion and assimilation.  That is my biased opinion... and I'm sticking to it.  But Jim Henderson had a different perspective and he invited one man by the name of Hemant Mehta into a very different world, but not to change Hemant... he wants to change Christianity's approach to people.  For that, I have a lot of respect for him.  I envy his passion and chutzpah to take on such a task.  

"Every student should attend at least one lecture that differs from his or her current beliefs; if those beliefs can’t stand under scrutiny, they aren’t worth believing.” Although I agreed with that view, I had never followed the editorial’s advice myself. Many other atheists had been raised as Christians, so they knew what they were leaving. But I lacked that experience.

I decided I would step inside a church. However, I knew this exploration would be pointless unless I could ask questions about the faith—the questions that had always troubled or confused me. Also, I wanted to document the journey so others could see what I was experiencing. If they were to comment on my experience, they needed to know what I was doing, so I had to find a way to publicize my idea. How do you manage to raise interest in a project that is so …unusual?" HM

Jim Henderson sent Hemant to a variety of different churches over a few states and this book is Hemant's story and his journey through those churches.  He holds back no punches.  He is honest about his observances and throughout the whole book, he had me laughing.  Not because I found his discoveries funny... they were more painful than funny.  Laughter is my coping mechanism these days when I am faced with the person I used to be and I want to distance myself from the ignorant and deluded person I was.  

"If you are a Christian, you probably aren’t aware of the obstacles nonreligious Americans face on a daily basis. We atheists, agnostics, and other freethinkers have to work hard to defend our rights, especially our constitutional right to “not believe.” HM

This saddens me to the point of being depressed.  This is where I want to make a difference and encourage some change.  I understand that changing the core motivation of Christianity to "convert and assimilate" seems ludicrously impossible... but to sit by and watch as more people are marginalized for who they are just boils my blood.  

"When a newcomer enters a place of worship and is unfamiliar with the rituals, it can make him or her uncomfortable. What would happen, for instance, if I didn’t kneel at the right time, or if I didn’t know to stand during certain prayers, or if I failed to repeat the words we were given? Well … nothing. Except I’d feel awkward and out of place. Rituals happen largely without thought. You just do them without thinking about it. I prefer activity that makes you think, which is why I appreciated sermons that left me rethinking my own life.

Aside from being made to feel you don’t belong, I also don’t see the religious reason for rituals. If I wanted to feel close to God, the prayers would have to come from within, tailored to my own struggles, hopes, and gratitude. A scripted prayer took away from all that." HM

Hemant is saying what I long to say.   I don't mind the idea of people needing faith... but why can't it be authentic and personal.  Why does it have to be pre-chewed? 

"An assertion that comes up again and again in churches is the idea that non-Christians are lost. I really would like to hear an explanation to back up that statement. I don’t feel lost; in fact, I’ve felt found ever since I became an atheist." HM

This theme comes up again and again in the book. It seems ridiculous to me now because I am on a different side of the fence, but none the less confusing.  Where does this come from?  We have so many religious expressions on this planet and Christianity stands out as the Borg Collective that needs to remove our brains and connect us to a system.  If I sound like I'm ranting... I am.  I know not all people who follow Jesus embrace that mindset, but a good portion of the club does and that is what I want to address.  My Hindu girlfriend has more grace than most Christians.  In forty-five years, she has been my friend and has never asked me to become Hindu in order to be loved and accepted by her.  We are not "lost" to each other and maybe that is all I can hope for... not to be lost to the people that matter.  

"If you want to get through to nonreligious people, you need to first understand where they are coming from. Simply reading a book by former atheist Lee Strobel, such as The Case for Christ or The Case for Faith, won’t cut it. It’s true that Strobel converted to Christianity out of atheism, but not all atheists are alike. And beyond that, there are many atheistic responses to the points Strobel makes, which he and other Christian authors fail to address. If you want to understand how an atheist thinks, talk to one who hasn’t converted." HM

What can I do to encourage a conversation between the converted and the deconverted?  What does such a conversation look like?  Will it always be like a scene in Madagascar when Alex is realizing that he is a really a lion and is fighting off the urge to eat Marty but realizing it is his nature, so he pursues anyway.  Is it even realistic to expect a lion and a zebra to be friends.  

Maybe it is up to me to start the conversations.  Maybe I can admit to my friends and family that, even through one has stripes and one doesn't, we can still dwell together in peace and love.  But what if that is only possible in the confinement of a zoo, instead of nature.  Once our true colours come out, can we be friends?  I hope so.   

Here is my advice to Christians who want to influence people like me: be open to reaching out to people who disagree with you, instead of forcing us to adopt your beliefs in order to win your approval. Why not go ahead and “approve” of me simply because I’m a fellow human? Shouldn’t that be enough to earn your respect? HM

Discovering another sacred text in the TAO TE CHING with maybe Lao-Tzu

"The Tao that can be understood cannot be the primal, or cosmic, Tao, just as an idea that can be expressed in words cannot be the infinite idea.

 

And yet this ineffable Tao was the source of all spirit and matter, and being expressed was the mother of all created things.

 

Therefore not to desire the things of sense is to know the freedom of spirituality; and to desire is to learn the limitation of matter. These two things spirit and matter, so different in nature, have the same origin. This unity of origin is the mystery of mysteries, but it is the gateway to spirituality."

This was a cosmic read more than a rocket read.  It was short and that is the most redeeming thing about it.  I still don't understand why timeless sacred texts have to be so big, long and hard to read.  This was none of those.  

What is the Tao Te Ching?

The Tao Te Ching  is a Chinese classic text written around 400 BC and traditionally credited to the sage Lao-Tsu. The text's authorship, date of composition and date of compilation are debated. The oldest excavated portion dates back to the late 4th century BC, but modern scholarship dates other parts of the text as having been written—or at least compiled—later than the earliest portions of the Zhuangzi.

The Tao, along with the Zhuangzi, is a fundamental text for both philosophical and religious Taoism. It also strongly influenced other schools of Chinese philosophy and religion, including Legalism, Confucianism, and Chinese Buddhism, which was largely interpreted through the use of Taoist words and concepts when it was originally introduced to China. Many artists, including poets, painters, calligraphers, and gardeners, have used the Tao Te Ching as a source of inspiration. Its influence has spread widely out and it is one of the most translated work in world literature.

When I read the Tao Te Ching... I feel like I'm in the tattoo parlour in Calgary with my friend Mike.  I am not there to get a tattoo, but I am there to learn and listen.  That is what I did with this read.  I had no intention to convert to Taoism (pronounced dowism)... but I understood there is wisdom in those pages.  So I downloaded a copy.  

"Neglecting to praise the worthy deters people from emulating them; just as not prizing rare treasures deters a man from becoming a thief; or ignoring the things which awaken desire keeps the heart at rest."

It has been a slow read, or rather a slow chew.  I felt like I needed to masticate a little more with this.  Before I swallowed, I needed to sit with the words and let them savour in my brain.  Wisdom always takes a little extra effort.  

Something else I like about the Tao Te Ching is that it isn't about the author, it's about the content.  Lao-Tzu may just be a legendary character that they ascribe the writings to.  It's not for certain that he even existed, much less authored this Chinese sacred text.  But it doesn't seem to matter.  What matters is the words.  

"Continuing to fill a pail after it is full the water will be wasted. Continuing to grind an axe after it is sharp will soon wear it away."

I hope I have that much humility one day to release my words without the need to have my name attached.  I still struggle with that.  I want notoriety for what I have written.  Maybe sacred texts aren't needing an author.  Maybe the words can speak for themselves.  Maybe one day I will even be able to read the bible again just for the words, because all the certainty in authorship is a sailed ship.  

"Therefore the wise man trusting in goodness always saves men, for there is no outcast to him. Trusting in goodness he saves all things for there is nothing valueless to him. This is recognizing concealed values."

What so I find inspirational about Tao?  

“ Tao is obscure and without name, and yet it is precisely this Tao that alone can give and complete.”

Maybe Tao is just another name given by a finite human to label that which was really beyond labelling, but as a human, we need names for things.  But there is a emphasis on the futility that Tao is limited by it's name.  As the first quote says... it isn't Tao if it can be understood.  

This concept isn't unique to the Tao Te Ching.  

“A God that can be understood is no God. Who can explain the Infinite in words?”

― W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge

I am still an ant in an anthill that doesn't have the job in measuring the back yard.  I am a poet.  I am not a scientist, a priest or a bible scholar.  There is a romance or attraction to the letting go of the need to have all the answers, understand everything, know it all, and be able to explain what is really beyond all explaining.  Call it the Universe, call it the Cosmos, call it God... or call it Tao.    

"Tao gives life to all creatures; Te feeds them; materiality shapes them; energy completes them. Therefore among all things there is none that does not honor Tao and esteem Te. Honor for Tao and esteem for Te is never compelled, it is always spontaneous. Therefore Tao gives life to them, but Te nurses them, raises them, nurtures, completes, matures, rears, protects them.

 

Tao gives life to them but makes no claim of ownership; Te forms them but makes no claim upon them, raises them but does not rule them. This is profound vitality (Te)."

Imagine an artist that paints a landscape.  The artist asks nothing of the painting.  It doesn't even sign it.  It just paints it and lets the beauty be enjoyed by others.  No one knows the artist, and maybe some wonder who that artist is, but the artist cares not about recognition.  It was never about recognition... it was only about beauty.  

One more bonus... I can quote the words and I don't need to mar the beauty of the wisdom with an address. 

"A tree that it takes both arms to encircle grew from a tiny rootlet. A pagoda of nine stories was erected by placing small bricks. A journey of three thousand miles begins with one step.

If one tries to improve a thing, he mars it; if he seizes it, he loses it. The wise man, therefore, not attempting to form things does not mar them, and not grasping after things he does not lose them."

Coming home to Narnia: "A HORSE AND HIS BOY" by C.S Lewis

I have cats.  I don't own my cats, some might say that they own me.  This story is what is told in the fifth book in the Narnia series. "The Horse and his Boy".   

I think what I enjoy so much about this series is the life given to animals.  I wish I could share the same language with my cats.  But maybe it's better that I don't.  

How can I know? I bet this horse knows, if only he could tell me."

The horse had lifted its head. Shasta stroked its smooth-as-satin nose and said, "I wish you could talk, old fellow."

And then for a second he thought he was dreaming, for quite distinctly, though in a low voice, the Horse said, "But I can."

Shasta stared into its great eyes and his own grew almost as big, with astonishment.

"How ever did you learn to talk?" he asked.

"Hush! Not so loud," replied the Horse. "Where I come from, nearly all the animals talk."

"Where ever is that?" asked Shasta.

"Narnia," answered the Horse. 

* * * 

"Why do you keep on talking to my horse instead of to me?" asked the girl.

"Excuse me, Tarkheena," said Bree (with just the slightest backward tilt of his ears), "but that's Calormene talk. We're free Narnians, Hwin and I, and I suppose, if you're running away to Narnia, you want to be one too. In that case Hwin isn't your horse any longer. One might just as well say you're her human."

* * * 

"Ask on, my dear," said Aslan.

"Will any more harm come to her by what I did?"

"Child," said the Lion, "I am telling you your story, not hers. No-one is told any story but their own." 

* * *

I am not that romanticized anymore by the whole poor boy becoming a prince. With the news of recent events,  the whole royalty thing has left a bad taste in my mind.  In this story... the beautiful ending is for the horses who come home to Narnia.  

The whole king and queen motif of Narnia is not all that attractive to me now.  The dream is not a pretty one.  Reality is that royalty is just another prison.  Maybe a worse prison than poverty.  I don't know, but it seems that way.  So to add it to a child's fantasy seems cruel.  I guess maybe it is time to take a break from the world of Narnia.  

So what book finds me now... It is a story about a different kind of "Prince"... but that will be one of the next blog posts.  It is a big book, and may take a while to get through it.  

I am also reading another book along side... it is about a "Queen", but a different kind of Queen.  

Both books are not fantasy, but really show that the glamour of "royalty" is not all its cracked up to be.