Gaining perspective and wonder in "FOR SMALL CREATURES SUCH AS WE" by Sasha Sagan

 

"I do now have an increased urge to celebrate things with our daughter. ... But I can’t go through the motions. I can’t bring myself to tell her anything I don’t believe is true.

So I find myself eager to map out a year that is sometimes inspired and informed by the practices and beliefs of her ancestors on both sides, but not shackled by them. 

I want to create moments that make us feel united with other Earthlings, without the dogma that divides us. Religion, at its best, facilitates empathy, gratitude, and awe. Science, at its best, reveals true grandeur beyond our wildest dreams. My hope is that I can merge these into some new thing that will serve my daughter, my family, and you, dear reader, as we navigate—and celebrate—the mysterious beauty and terror of being alive in our universe."  SS

"Rituals for finding meaning in our unlikely world" is the subtitle of Sasha Sagan's book. I never imagined that I would find a way back to appreciating ritual, thanks to the daughter of Carl Sagan.   I don't usually include the fathers of my authors, but this time, since the title of the book was taken from one of Carl's quotes, I thought including his picture with that very quote would be significant.  

I haven't read anything by Carl Sagan yet.  So Sasha was my introduction to her famous father. 

 

"My father was a scientist. He was the astronomer and educator Carl Sagan. Science wasn’t just his occupation, it was the source of his worldview, his philosophy, his guiding principles. He and my mom, writer and producer Ann Druyan, taught me that belief requires evidence. They taught me that science wasn’t just a set of facts to be compared and contrasted with other philosophies but a way of testing ideas to see which ones stand up to scrutiny. They taught me that what scientists think today might be disproven tomorrow, and that’s wonderful, because that’s the pathway to a better, deeper understanding." SS

I always admire people who grow up in the care of great people, but find a way out of the shadow to have a voice in the world on their own.  Sasha Sagan is one of those people.  Her voice draws me into the realization that rituals are a part of life, not just the evidence of a decaying religious system.  

The greatest minds in history have often been wrong about lots of stuff. But the defining difference between science and religion is that you’re a better scientist if you take the ideas of the people who came before you, the people whose shoulders you stand on, the people who taught you everything you know—your teachers, your heroes, your mentors—and disprove them. Then you’ve done your job. Doing the same does not make you a better pastor, rabbi, cleric, or monk; upholding tradition does. SS

I still have baggage that I want to toss.  The baggage isn't so much the rituals or the idea of rituals, it is the meaninglessness I have felt being around and involved in various rituals. More often than not, I find no value in the repetition of religion.  Maybe there is value somewhere, I have just lost the ability to appreciate it.  

“Maruja says when you die you go to heaven and there are angels playing harps and you’re with God. And you guys say it’s like you’re asleep forever with no dreams. Who is right?”

My parents, without missing a beat, said in unison, “Nobody knows!”

And they didn’t just say it. They announced it like good news, joyful, enthusiastic, beaming.

This exchange was revelatory for me. Not because it gave me any clarity on the mystery of death, but because it gave me a window into the nature of life. It taught me that there is no shame in not knowing. Uncertainty is real. It need not be glossed over or buried. We can embrace it, even while we try to understand what we can.

I didn't grow up with an appreciation for uncertainty.  That came much later.  Someone had to be right, and it was usually my father.  I don't remember hearing an "I don't know" come out of his lips.  Maybe he was uncertain about some things, but I don't remember him confessing those moments to me.  But back then, what dad did? ... I guess Carl Sagan had the courage to admit that he didn't know.

 "We owe the sun our lives.
If worship is, at least in part, about gratitude, about bowing down to the source of our blessings and bounties, then our bright, hot neighbor fits the bill perfectly. And for this reason, a vast array of human belief systems have featured a sun god." SS 

I was first impressed with the idea of  gratitude coming from a non-religious perspective, when I read A.J. Jacob's book " Thanks a Thousand" .  Gratitude was more hands on and practical with A.J. and it seems like that is what resonates with Sasha... the practicality of gratitude.  

"What a simple, elegant gesture a clap is to show gratitude. We use it so freely to show appreciation for a speech or a performance; why not just one for a meal?

In the last few years Jon and I have taken to a very informal version of this sort of thing. Mostly it’s along the lines of “Thank you, farmers, thank you, fishies.” This is in part for Helena’s benefit. But feeling gratitude is not enough. Fasting is not enough. These rituals must compel direct action..." SS

I really liked how Sasha took me on a journey through the year, through the solstices, through the traditions and through the trauma of ritual and out the other side to something better.  

 "It was there, away from all the familial holiday pressure, that we first felt free enough to make our own traditions. Based not on what we were used to but on what we actually believed." SS 

"Christmas and Easter are hard times for me, because they are traditionally family times for gathering together, but the emphasis is on the religious tradition, more than the family gathering.  I guess that is why I have been soured toward rituals.  They have taken me away from my family.  But like Sasha, I am finding space to embrace the annual happenings, but in a fresh light that doesn't get me so depressed every time that time of year rolls around.  

"There is one more way I time travel back to my father. When I was little he told me that air particles stay in our atmosphere for such a long time that we breathe the same air as the people who lived thousands of years ago. I think about that often now. I can take a deep breath and know that some fraction of those particles were once breathed by my dad. What an intimate thing it is to breathe the air of someone you loved." SS

Okay... this was the best take away from the book for me.  Not since I had to let go of Heaven -- of the thought of  reuniting with my loved ones after I die, have I had such a great connection with them.   Just breathing brings my dad and my nephew and my grandparents back to me in such a profound way.  Thank you Sasha for that little nugget.  I don't think I will ever breathe the same again!   

"I hope it’s clear that this book is a tribute and a love letter to my parents, Ann Druyan and Carl Sagan. I cannot begin to express my gratitude that in all the randomness I ended up with them. Nothing in my life would be possible without them. I am who I am because of their love, their wisdom, their generosity, and their confidence in me." SS