Compelled to meet Anna LeBaron in THE POLYGAMIST'S DAUGHTER

"I felt unloved and unwanted, a little girl who was nothing more than a nuisance. With no father or mother around to protect me or see to my needs, I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere" AL

"One of more than fifty children of infamous polygamist cult leader Ervil LeBaron, Anna LeBaron endured abandonment, horrific living conditions, child labor, and sexual grooming. At age thirteen, she escaped the violent cult, eventually gave her life to Christ, and sought healing. A gifted communicator and personal growth activist, she’s passionate about helping others walk in freedom." (Anna's Bio in the book)

Have you ever been introduced to someone, whether personally or via a media source, and something in you tells you "I need to get to know this person."  I "met" Anna LeBaron in conjunction with the release of the "A Language of Healing" book.  I was drawn into watching the Zoom conversations on Bob Prater's Youtube channel, and Anna was one of the hosts of one of the conversations.  I looked a little further down the line of videos that Bob has posted, and there was  an interview that she did with Bob.  I was immediately drawn into their conversation and immediately attracted to the vibrant, enthusiastic, joyful woman.  Her disclaimer  "I have licence to be as weird as I want." has me believing that somewhere in this world, I have a soul sister that understands me.  I started feeling that I needed to get to know Anna LeBaron.  

When asked in the interview how she was managing the 2020 chaos... she replied with a voice of contentment "I have toilet paper in my house."  I was sold.  I needed to read her book for starters.  But before I started the book, I watched a movie.  It wasn't the movie of her book, but a movie of the story of her family. 

The Ervil Lebaron story was showcased in a TV movie called "The Prophet of Evil" (available on Youtube), starring Brian Dennehy and William Devane.  With the lineup of books in my reading list, the movie was a quick introduction into the nightmare that was the life of Anna LeBaron and her family. 

Here is an excerpt from the L.A. Times written in September of 1992 by staff writer Gary Abrams. 

 "Ervil LeBaron listened carefully when God told him to take many wives. He married 13. When God told him to have children, he had at least 50.

And, 20 years ago, when God told him to break away from his family’s polygamist sect, he founded his own church, tearing apart the once close-knit family.

That’s apparently when God told Ervil to start killing people, too, including his own kin.

Authorities say it was the start of a chilling family tradition that continues to reverberate today among his descendants and followers more than a decade after his death."

Who was this woman who had this man as a father?  I needed to read her story.  I needed to sit along side her pain.  I needed to acknowledge that maybe her journey could teach me in mine.  This book took me two days to read.  

"Shame washed over me. Shame that I was looked down upon, even among the poorest citizens of a third-world country. Shame that my desperate hunger drove me to attack food like a wild animal. I wanted to dive under my seat and never come out again. But I couldn’t move.  And there was no place to hide anyway."  AL

I never had to dumpster dive for food as a child, but I understand shame. 

"We were not raised to voice our opinions or speak of our desires, needs, and longings. We were trained to simply do as we were told." AL

This sounds familiar, this much I understand. Seeing a snippet of Anna's personality and how much it resonates with mine, I don't have to imagine what it was like for her to have that fire in her as a child and yet grow up "being seen and not heard".  I get it. 

" “I just think this shows that buried deep inside him, underneath the madness of his mind, in his heart of hearts, he must have loved all of his kids. However messed up his expression of that was, he still loved us.” I wanted so badly to believe that about him. " (inner quote by Anna's sister Lillian) AL

How much courage and faith does it take to believe that no matter now "messed up" our parents might be we can still see love in and through them.  Maybe that is something I can believe because I have seen a love in my own Dad, that was greater than his own human ability to express it, even in the midst of his worst brokenness. 

“Mom, what kind of religion makes you question whether you should show up during the darkest hours of your children’s lives?” AL

Religion vs family has been a struggle for me as well.  I often get frustrated when religion and it's expressions get prioritized ahead of family.  There are no easy answers for this.  I want to honour my family's need to express their "faith", but I still get angry.  Am I selfish?  Sometimes I think so.  

"I know there are people in my family who will not be happy that I have written this book. Some may have a different perspective on or recollection of the events that I describe. Being a peacemaker at heart, it took me a while to gather the courage to tell my story, knowing that others would question me—and my motives—for writing. I hope they will tell their stories one day as well." AL

Is it the first story out that takes all the heat for existing?  Is it the first author that exposes the pain, that seeks to unearth the secrets; is that the sister that get the dirty looks at the family reunion?  The others haven't shared their story yet.  The others still need to keep their secrets.  The others are still trying to heal.  Maybe it's that first author that can wrap her arms around her brothers and sisters and let them know that their story matters too.  Maybe it is that author that will be the guide for their healing journey.  

My family has navigated the choppy waters of our spiritual expressions within the context of our relationships with one another. Lots of love and grace have been extended and received. AL

I am grateful to get to this place in the journey.  The place where family, outside of their need to have others conform to their beliefs and traditions, can extend their arms and embrace each other with love and grace.  How precious is that moment.  

Thank you Anna for the bravery and courage it took to share your journey.  It was hard for me to see the same joyful woman from the Bob Prater interview in the footsteps of that girl in the story she wrote about in "The Polygamist's Daughter".  But I am glad that girl found a joy that helped her to rise about the life she was given and embrace the life she now lives.  I hope this story helps heal your family too.  

"I know that because of both my father and my mother, I was born the polygamists’ daughter.

But that truth has been redeemed by a bigger Truth. I am a child of a God who loves me unconditionally. He knows my name. He knows my story.

And He has set me free. " AL

I need to detour for the remainder of this blog post and admit one more little tidbit.  When I first got introduced to Anna's story, she reminded me of another woman...  Let me backtrack and explain... 

I used to watch a show that introduced me to the positive side of polygamy.  It intrigued me in the early years of the show, but as time went on and reality TV got imbedded in the lives of the "actors", I wondered if the original intent for the show got buried in the drama of television life.  

"Sister Wives" introduced me to a level of compassion I never knew before.  I even have their book in my library.  I struggled with the idea that four women could share a husband and it was a good thing.  It seemed that the more I listened to their story, that I started to believe that maybe it worked for them.  Maybe not all polygamists experienced "hell on earth".  Initially the intent of "Sister Wives" reality show was to convey that that the fundamental practice of polygamy had a positive side to it.  It entertained and enlightened me for awhile, but soon I got bored because of the increase in "Hollywood drama". 

The woman that reminded me of Anna was Christine Brown, one of the reality stars from "Sister Wives".  The resemblance was striking, but I thought it was just a coincidence... until I got to the Q&A portion of Anna's book and one of the questions asked was about reality shows about polygamy.  And then I got my answer.  

"As for the show Sister Wives, Christine Brown is my cousin. Her grandfather and my father are brothers. She doesn’t know me—yet. I follow her on Twitter, but that’s the extent of my connection with her as of this writing. I’d love to meet her, of course! I do wonder about her early years, where she grew up, and if she knew about my dad or had any experiences with him." AL

An Atheist saves my faith in "JESUS, INTERRUPTED" by Dr. Bart D. Ehrman

"A Christianity dependent on the inerrancy of the Bible probably cannot survive the reality of the discrepancies. But there are lots of other forms of the Christian faith, many of them unscathed by the fact that the Bible is not a completely perfect book." BE

"It's better to have an informed faith than an ignorant faith." Dr. Bart D. Erhman mentioned this in an interview with Drew Marshall back in 2016.  

I think faith in the essence of its meaning doesn't require knowledge (ignorant). Faith is faith, but faith can be enhanced by knowledge (informed).  

If you read my other posts on this blog, I made it pretty clear that faith is a grey area for me right now.  I have been pretty cerebral for a while when it comes to my comprehension of the universe and everything in it... including me. Things need to make sense to me and that has been working for me for now, but there is one problem.  My brain has been lacking in the Jesus area.   That's right.  Since I have been processing "God" with my brain, I need something more than...

"Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so." 

"As time went on my views continued to evolve. I did not go from being an evangelical to an agnostic overnight. Quite the contrary: for some fifteen years after I had given up on my views of the verbal inspiration of the Bible, I continued to be a faithful Christian—a churchgoing, God-believing, sin-confessing Christian. I did become increasingly liberal in my views. My research led me to question important aspects of my faith." BE

(Oh Boy... that sounds familiar.) Bart Erhman is my second attempt at reading a PHD University Professor and Bible Scholar.  Peter Enns was my first.  I am a middle aged bible school dropout that never hopes to grace the doors of a seminary.  Seminaries are where others have gone to unearth the answers to some troubling questions about a man who lived two thousand years ago.  Suffice it to say then, I need to read books written by people who have invested their lives and careers in asking questions and maybe even discovering some answers.  

"Jesus, Interrupted" is so appropriately subtitled "Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (and Why We Don't Know About Them)" Reading this book, I have a troubling thought running laps in my brain.  Why am I just getting this information now?  I took time off after high school to study the bible, and we never discussed the discrepancies.  Somehow, I spent fourteen months and never asked the questions I am asking now, and never entertained the idea that there was more to the Bible than the belief that I was being introduced to.  The evidence in my journal entries from my time at bible school would state that I was more interested in my social life than in digging into the deep dark secrets of a collection of books written some 2000 years ago.  

"Most people who are not conversant with biblical scholarship probably think that knowing about the historical Jesus is a relatively simple matter. We have four Gospels in the New Testament. To know what Jesus said and did, we should read the Gospels. They tell us what he said and did. So what’s the problem?

The problem is in part that the Gospels are full of discrepancies and were written decades after Jesus’ ministry and death by authors who had not themselves witnessed any of the events of Jesus’ life." BE

Maybe the other problem is that faith is easier to process, then the historical evidence unearthed about the very documents that have fed the faith.  My main defence in acknowledging the messiness of the biblical text is that I live two thousand years after the story. 

Right now, I am imagining life in the year 4020... and someone unearths my journals and blog posts.  I have a feeling that they may only get a glimpse of who the real Ruby Neumann is.  If that is my conclusion in imagining my own story, maybe then I am allowed some grace in understanding that I don't have the whole story of Jesus.  What I do have has been filtered through a lot of hands and a lot of editing.  Even if someone read my journals forty to a hundred years from now... they still won't have the whole story.  And I am doing something Jesus didn't do... I am writing my story as I live it.  

I remember playing the telephone game in youth group.  We would have about ten people in a circle.  The youth leader would whisper a sentence into one person's ear and then they had to whisper what they heard to the next person and so on around the circle... only having one chance to pass along the message.  That last person who got the message and had to say it out loud NEVER got it right.  It was NEVER the same as the original statement from the youth leader.  

"Imagine playing telephone not among a group of kids of the same socioeconomic class from the same neighbourhood and same school and of the same age speaking the same language, but imagine playing it for forty or more years, in different countries, in different contexts, in different languages. What happens to the stories? They change." BE

"One might be tempted to despair at establishing anything historical about Jesus, given the chaotic state of affairs. With sources like these, how can we know anything at all about the historical Jesus?" BE

I guess that is where faith comes in... right? That is what you might be tempted to tell me right about now.  But I'm not reading this book because at the end I can just ignore the mess, sweep it all under some theological carpet and have faith.  That ship, my friends, has sailed.  

So far, without the faith element, Bart has introduced me to a real Jesus.  Right now, I don't know much about that real Jesus, but just the idea that he existed is huge for me.  It is the starting point I was looking for.  

"Christianity as we have come to know it did not, in any event, spring into being overnight. It emerged over a long period of time, through a period of struggles, debates, and conflicts over competing views, doctrines, perspectives, canons, and rules. The ultimate emergence of the Christian religion represents a human invention—in terms of its historical and cultural significance, arguably the greatest invention in the history of Western civilization." BE

Years ago, I tossed out the idea that the religion of Christianity was a foundation for me.  It was more of a boat anchor tied to my neck than a foundation. Maybe there is a purpose to it, and I'm not going to say there isn't one, I just need something more than a religion.  I think I need the Jesus that didn't start a new religion, but spend his years on this planet trying to stop religion from hindering the things that really mattered.  So if Jesus really existed, and as messed up as some of the written story is, maybe I can find something redeemable in the mess and maybe that is faith. 

The last chapter of the book is entitled "Is Faith Possible?"  I stopped reading at that point.  I really want to find out if I have an answer to that question before I get Bart's thoughts.  I want to take the thoughts I gleaned from the first seven chapters and sit on them for a bit.  So far... this is what I have...

1. Jesus existed

2. He didn't write anything down and his followers didn't take notes. 

4. Jesus and his followers spoke Aramaic

5. The written accounts were in Greek, written at least a minimum of forty years after his death. 

6. The bible on my shelf is in English

7. Doing the math... I have no clue what Jesus really said when he was on Earth. 

So now I am left to figure out the value of what was written down.  Is it something that can help me improve my life here on Earth, because that is what I am looking for... improvement for my life here on Earth.  Even if those words left behind are helpful on my journey... I am still left to figure out where Jesus fits in to the picture.  I hope it is more than just the ultimate romance novel.  But if that is all I have, it is still more than what the world is giving me.  And now I come back to the value of having faith.  Faith... not knowing... something maybe this agnostic, clueless blogger can find.  

Now I am ready to find out from Bart if faith is possible.  On to chapter eight...

"Probably the one question I get asked more than any other, by people who know that I am an agnostic scholar of the New Testament, is why I continue to study and teach the New Testament if I no longer believe in it?

This is a question that has never made much sense to me. The Bible is the most important book in the history of Western civilization. It is the most widely purchased, the most thoroughly studied, the most highly revered, and the most completely misunderstood book—ever! Why wouldn’t I want to study it?" BE

I entitled this post "An Atheist saves my faith"... and after reading chapter eight and finishing the book, the tears in my eyes are testifying that it's not true... it is more than true.  What is being saved is not faith as a noun... but faith as a verb.  I can still trust in something and someone even in the middle of a very messy story... and maybe right now, it is just because that someone makes sense and that for me just might be enough.  

Bart goes on to say just how valuable the story still is and how much it has to teach us.  Maybe two thousand years after the story, I can't prove much about Jesus, but that is okay.  Since, according to Bart and other bible scholars,  there is enough documented evidence that Jesus existed, I can trust that and start there.  People must have thought that who Jesus was and what he said made a difference enough to pass the story along for two thousand years.  I can also start there.  The messy details don't need to bog me down.  

If I am going to trust in a Creator, and trust that this Creator Loves, because that much still makes sense to me (Creation and Love)... then maybe I can trust that for that Creator to Love, it meant becoming intimately involved with the creation. And maybe that was Jesus.  However that happened is what is left to some good stories and little more faith.  I understand there are some big questions still and overwhelming obstacles that deserve some more discussion... like the pain and evil we have in the world.  But I already did a blog post on that book.  

Thank you Bart for introducing me to a real Jesus.  Maybe faith can take it from here.  I'm still comfortable with the agnostic adjective for now, but maybe I'm not as clueless, because of an effort to be a little more informed. 

"Faith is not a matter of smarts." BE

"ReGRACE"... What the Shocking Beliefs of the Great Christians taught me "" by Frank Viola

"The church is tired of seeing Christians act ungraciously toward one another when they disagree. Social media has added to the carnage. Christians routinely block each other on Facebook because of doctrinal disagreements. The world watches the blood-letting, and the Christian witness is tarnished.

But what if every Christian discovered that their favorite teacher in church history had blind spots and held to some false–and even shocking–views?

Bestselling author Frank Viola argues that this simple awareness will soften Christians when they interact with each other in the face of theological disagreements.

In ReGrace, he uncovers some of the shocking beliefs held by faith giants like C.S. Lewis, Luther, Calvin, Moody, Spurgeon, Wesley, Graham, and Augustine–not to downgrade or dismiss them, but to show that even “the greats” in church history didn’t get everything right.

Knowing that the heroes of our faith sometimes got it wrong will empower us to treat our fellow Christians with grace rather than disdain whenever we disagree over theology." 

Sometimes, the back cover says it all! 

I was in Red Deer with my mother and we stopped by the Kennedy's Parable book store en route to see my niece.  We had some time on our hands and I like browsing the shelves.  This book popped out and I picked it up.  Frank Viola is not a stranger to the library of my life.  I read two of his books a few years back... "Pagan Christianity (co-authored with George Barna) and "Reimagining Church".  Both books were transitional for me at the time.  I was transitioning out of the organized system of "church" and looking for something less organized (for lack of a better descriptor).  Frank was, for me, that middle step that helped me get to the next level on my journey, because jumping the whole distance at once could have hurt me.  When I saw ReGrace, it brought me back to that middle step in my memory and I realized that there was still something of value there.  

"ReGrace has but one objective: to foster grace, civility, and tolerance among Christians when they disagree with one another over theological matters." FV

That may have been Frank's objective in writing the book, but for me as a reader, it was like sitting in the mall "people watching".  I got to sit on the bench and watch some of the Greats of Christianity walk by, not in their perfected Sunday best, but in their Monday work duds.  Frank gave me an inside scoop on the humanity of some people that have been stuck high in the clouds for way too long.  That for me was enlightening, and not because I thought these "dudes" were perfect, but because this side of their story is rarely exposed to poorly informed humans like me.  I am giddy with excitement when I get to see the humanity in people.  It is something to be treasured and respected, not hidden under a carpet.  

"Some of the so-called shocking beliefs that I cover in this book are beliefs that I myself agree with. Others I find abhorrent. Consequently, just because a shocking belief is listed doesn’t reveal how I personally feel about it. It simply means that many evangelical Christians will find the belief to be shocking (at worst) or peculiar (at best)." FV

As I read some of the "shocking beliefs" of men like Charles Spurgeon, John Calvin, Martin Luther, C.S. Lewis and even Billy Graham,  I found brothers on a journey.  Maybe others who have read this book, who have put these men high on a pedestal, weren't as understanding as I was, but that is their journey.  I really enjoyed discovering a few things. 

Here are a few factoids that I found "refreshing"

- "C.S. Lewis believed that the book of Job wasn't historical and that the Bible contained errors." 

- "Charles Spurgeon was never ordained and didn't believe that ordination was important, He was also against the use of honorific titles."  

- "Dwight L. Moody didn't believe in making doctrine an issue." 

And my favourite!!!! 

- "Martin Luther believed using profanity was acceptable." 

(I wonder if my dad knew that little tidbit! Maybe if he had, there would have been a little more "ReGrace" when I had to tell him that I got caught swearing at school in Grade 9. If I knew about Luther's potty mouth, it would have made for a better defence.)

Some factoids aren't that inspiring but are entertaining. 

 - "Augustine believed in praying for the dead"

(maybe that's not funny if you belong to the LDS church) 

 - "John Wesley believed in ghosts and other paranormal phenomena."

What really melted my heart was the chapter on Billy Graham.  I discovered that the Billy Graham of my youth, was not the Billy Graham that wrote the book "Nearing Home".  He had his own slide with certainty as the years progressed.  Maybe he had the chance to rethink all the sermons he preached over the years and maybe the conclusions he came up with in his early years weren't the same as the doubts he was having in his later years.  I really respect him for not hiding those doubts in interviews and admitting that there is indeed "a wideness in God's Mercy" 

After Frank goes through the chapters on the "Great Christians", he spends some time talking about what really matters... and it's not the doctrine or the lack there of.  It is the whole purpose of the book...  I like the chapter "The Art of being a Jerk Online."  That chapter alone is worth the cost of the book. 

"Beware the person who quotes short excerpts from a book and then purports to interpret the author of the book.  In many (if not most) cases where the interpretation is negative, the person is misrepresenting the author.  You'll also discover something else in virtually every case -- the person quoting and interpreting has never gone to the author to ask if she is understanding the author correctly." FV

Oh I really hope I don't do that in my book blog.  The books I share on my blog have been very helpful on my journey.  So far, I don't personally know any of the authors, even though I have met some of them on occasion at public events or online. When I have access to their email address, I send the author a link to my blog post and on occasion, I get a response back.  It is comforting to get confirmation back that I am doing something good with this blog. 

 I will never be able to speak for the author, but hopefully, I can let someone else in on an exciting journey of discovery.  That is why I do this.  And maybe that is what this book does... invites the reader on a journey of discovery, not only of some pretty famous Christians, but hopefully of that friend, or neighbour who needs a little "ReGrace".  

My Disclaimer:  This book seems addressed to people who have adopted the label "Christian" and maybe that is a label that Frank Viola has adopted.  I am not one of those people who claim that label anymore, but I still enjoyed the book and there were a lot of valuable nuggets of wisdom for me.  I have that approach to most books I read.  I don't always agree with everything the author writes, but if I let those little things bother me, I would miss so much more.  

Thank you Frank, for yet another timely read.  I just wish I could have passed along that little tidbit about Martin Luther to my dad... I wonder if we could have laughed about it now.  

I will end this post with a quote in the book that made me laugh. 

"People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand my complaint about them not understanding me." Søren Kierkegaard

CARL MEDEARIS Speaks of Muslims, Christians and Jesus

"If we don’t truly know what the gospel is, we have to find an explanation for Christianity. Rather than extending ourselves to the other person, we tend to defend our position. I think the majority of modern evangelism involves Christians trying to explain to everybody else why they believe what they believe because they’re insecure themselves." CM (SOJ)

It was a few years ago when I first discovered Carl Medearis.  I was at a Breakforth Conference in Edmonton and Carl was doing some sessions.  The title of one of the sessions intrigued me. "The Art of Not-Evangelism" which is the subtitle to his book "Speaking of Jesus".  I think if I remember correctly, I went to all his sessions that weekend and picked up both his books "Speaking of Jesus" and "Muslims, Christians, and Jesus."  I read "Speaking of Jesus" right away, but shelved the other book, and didn't pick it up until this past month.  After I read "Muslims, Christians, and Jesus", I decided to reread "Speaking of Jesus" 

Who Carl is speaks largely about what he writes, so I am including his bio found on his website.  

Carl Medearis is an international expert in the field of Arab-American and Muslim-Christian relations.

He acts as a catalyst for a number of current movements in the Middle East to promote peace-making, as well as cultural, political and religious dialog leading toward reconciliation. He is the author of several acclaimed books including Muslims, Christians and Jesus, Speaking of Jesus, Adventures in Saying Yes, and Tea with Hezbollah.

Carl, his wife Chris, and their three kids lived in Beirut, Lebanon for 12 years. Through their unique and strategic approach around the Arab world, they encouraged university students, business professionals and political leaders to live their lives by the principles and teachings of Jesus in order to change their societies and nations.

Today Carl and his wife Chris share their lives between Colorado and Dubai. They spend their time working with leaders in the West and in the Arab world with the hope of seeing the Arab Middle East and the West experience full and fruitful relationships through the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth.

I think what draws me into these books with so much enthusiasm, is Carl's disdain for Christianity as a religion, and his adoration of Jesus.  

On the back cover of "Speaking of Jesus" it reads. 

"Author Carl Medearis is not interested in keeping Christianity alive.  Not one bit.  Carl believes it has grown into something that is rarely attractive, frequently divisive, and all too often embarrassing.  He believes you may feel this way too.  In his new book, Speaking of Jesus, Carl gives a wink and a grin and the permission to stop feeding this thing called Christianity.  His offer is that doing so allows us the freedom to relax and feast on Jesus." CM (SOJ)

I guess a few years back I was looking for voices that were talking about Jesus, not the religion that evolved out of his followers.  Carl's books are journals of his journeys in the Middle East and conversations he has with people he encounters on his travels.  Why does he travel? He follows Jesus. Sometimes following Jesus takes him into strange places.  

I was staying with friends at a hotel in Basra, Iraq, in the spring of 2003. While there, we managed to attract the curiosity of the hotel staff. They were curious about this team of international people staying at their hotel. Since a war was well under way, they were all the more intrigued because we weren’t wearing camouflage and toting M4 carbines. During the day, out in the streets, we had given out all of our texts—Arabic translations of the gospel of Luke. We were checking in for another day and as we stood in the lobby near the front desk, the hospitality manager leaned across the counter and looked at me.

“Why have you come here?” he asked in English. “Are you with the American army?”

“No,” I said, “we followed Jesus to Basra, so we are trying to find out what He is doing here.” CM (SOJ)

This is the art of non-evangelism.  It seems so simple.  Striking up a conversation about Jesus and only Jesus.  I think that is why Carl has so much positive response from the people he talks to.  He is not trying to convert, conform or Christianize anyone... he is just following Jesus and seeing what Jesus is up to, and it seems that the Jesus he follows opens doors for him that Christianity would never be able to.  

"The whole message of God can be summarized in one short sentence: Love God and love people. Eight times in the Bible we are told to “love your neighbor.” It’s one of the most repeated commands. And it’s clear from the teachings of Jesus that our “neighbor” is basically anyone we meet who is in need (which would be everyone).

As we’ve discussed, Jesus seems to have a favorable bias toward the “wrong crowd.” I hate to say it, but Muslims probably fit into this category! They’re outsiders here in the West: wrong religion, wrong language, wrong temperament. Sounds like Jesus’ kind of people." CM (MCJ)

"Muslims, Christians, and Jesus" was published first of these two books, and it is a helpful guide inside the world of "Gaining Understanding and Building Relationships" with Muslims... which is something Carl does... builds relationships.  I am all for learning how to have relationships with "Jesus' kind of people".  

If you looking for a quick and concise read and insight into the basics of the Islam faith, this is a good book to get your hands on and your eyes reading.  One may find that we have more in common with our Muslim neighbours that we realized...which just might include a love for Jesus.  

I have many friends who are Catholic and if, during the seventies and eighties, people were to have broadly blamed Catholicism for the terrorism in Belfast, they would have been completely wrong. Everybody knows Catholics are not terrorists. Neither are Muslims. Terrorists are terrorists. CM (MCJ)

I still admire books about the simple message of Jesus.  I am done with Christianity, as Carl Medearis is, but I like his invitation to "Speak of Jesus" and to gain some understanding and build relationships. I still struggle in my theology, and might for a long time, but maybe this isn't about theology, it is finding common ground, and maybe that common ground is Jesus. We can't be too educated on people.  We need to move closer to understanding and farther away from the fear.  I am of the thought that fear is a result of a lack of knowledge and understanding.  Most of our fears are unfounded, because we haven't taken the time to get to know our neighbour.  

Thank you Carl, for two amazing books and your invitation to discover Jesus in a whole new light.  I need all the help I can get right now.  

"Once again, the power of the simple message of love, forgiveness, and peace showed that it conquers all. It’s the way of Jesus. The world is full of strife, war, conflicts, and hatred. The life Christ offers is the opposite of that: He provides a way to live in this very world, but to do so in peace and love. But we have to choose this stand. It doesn’t come easily or naturally." CM (MCJ)

Finding common ground in A LANGUAGE OF HEALING FOR A POLARIZED NATION with Wayne Jacobsen, Arnita W. Taylor and Bob Prater

"Our differences cannot be an excuse to vent our anger and animosity. We can hold two differing views and argue for them passionately without resorting to contempt, suspicion and accusations. If we can manage this, we'll not only learn more about each other, but we might also find ways to work together for our shared interests,  guarding our own dignity by giving it to others." LOH

There was once a book that made a real difference in my life.  That book was a team effort by three people who took a story and shared it so millions could be inspired and changed by its message.  Since then, there have been books that have come out of all three of those authors, and some of those have been life changing for me as well, but there was something special about a book that did so much because three people worked together to make their message available to a world that needed to hear it.  

I wonder if there is something in the story of the making of a book that says something that the book and it's message can't do alone.  

Now, this year, in the chaos of 2020, a new book has come out entitled "A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation" with a subtitle of "Creating Safe Environments for Conversations about Race, Politics, Sexuality, and Religion" 

One of the authors that was a part of that team that produced that life changing book that sold millions, risked another relationship adventure to produce another life changing book.  It's a very different book, in a very different genre, with a message addressing a very different issue... but something about this book rings with a similar hope.  Three voices sharing a message, each bringing their own gifts to the table.  Could this be a more timely project?  I don't think so.  Let me introduce you to the authors: 

"We've got to help humanize people who are different than us." WJ

Wayne Jacobsen, co-author of "The Shack" book, has been a pivotal influence in my journey for the last twelve years.  My library boasts a lot of books that have Wayne's name on the cover.  This book shares space on the shelf with reads like "Finding Church", "Beyond Sundays", "A Man like No other" and "So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore".  He is also hosts the God Journey Podcast.  

"It's important to find people who celebrate you rather than tolerate you." BP

Bob Prater is someone I got acquainted with when I started listening to his podcast "A Christian and a Muslim Walk into a Studio"  He teamed up with his Muslim friend Emad and the two of them have conversations about their stories, their journeys and issues that pervade the world they both live in.  I really enjoy the banter between these two (the politics not so much) .  I missed their conversation when they ended their podcast, but I discovered that they just moved the conversation to Youtube and Facebook.  The conversation continues and that is a real good thing.  

"In an orchestra, a soloist can produce beauty, but eventually, she sits down to contribute to the greater beauty of the whole." AWT

Arnita Willis Taylor is the author that makes this book what it is... and I am sure that Wayne and Bob would agree with me.  In fact, I think they already have.  The only exposure I have had to Arnita is through this book and she opened up my eyes to a whole new world, and for that I am thankful.  

"Learning to communicate with people around you, especially those with whom you hold significant differences, Is not without its risks and rewards.  But is it worth it?" LOH

I think it is.  And when I read the conversations between Wayne, Bob and Arnita... I am understanding that they all think and feel like it is worth it. 

I have a confession to make: I am Canadian and this book is written by three Americans addressing mostly American issues.  It was good to learn about the issues that are so prevalent in their world and how this "language of healing" is helping them to navigate the waters they live and work in.  But as the chapter 2 title says "What's in it for me?", I have to figure out how this language fits into my world, my culture, my relationships and my country.  

"Compassion, although technically a noun, is at its core an action word.  Being moved without taking action is simply pity.  Compassion will not allow us to feel and not act on behalf of others." LOH

I want to learn how to have conversations with people.  I remember conversations came easy when we all were on the same page.  As soon as the different opinions came out, then the emotions heated up and the conversations ended.  It seemed like the only time conversations were possible was when everyone agreed.  I think I am getting better and being brave and inviting myself into a space where I can be a part of those conversations where disagreement is more present than agreement. 

There were two books I read that had a great impact on me... both were conversations and both were diametrically opposed points of view, but what I came out of those reads with was an appreciation for a love that triumphed over difference.  The books are "Why I Left, Why I Stayed" by Tony and Bart Campolo and "Undivided" By Patricia and Alana Raybon.  

"Speaking the language of healing isn't a matter of semantics alone; it's also a matter of developing your character. When we are more at peace with ourselves, we will not be threatened by those who have different perspectives or beliefs. In fact, they can add to our own experiences and enrich it." LOH

I realize that this journey to learn "A Language of Healing" starts with those people closest to me.  If I can't have this conversation with the people I love, then my efforts really mean nothing.  And this doesn't mean a banter on social media, this means personal conversation.  

Thank you, Wayne, Bob and Arnita for taking the time to have a conversation and share it with the world... and I hope you share it with the world.  As much as the topics of conversation you have may seem primarily American, it is the idea that you had a conversation that really needs to be shared with the world... even though we have very different issues and stories, we can still learn from your journey and from your conversation and find some common ground in our own worlds.  

One suggestion: I downloaded the audio to this book, and listened to it before I read the book.  It was important to me to hear this conversation in the voices of the authors.  It made all the difference to me.  I have the book now, but when I read it, it is Wayne, Arnita and Bob's voices that I am hearing, not my own.  This audio book is available on Audible.  

I highly recommend this book for anyone... even in Canada.  We have our polarizing issues here too! They may be somewhat different, but how we address them... well that is something we can learn from "The Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation" I will end this post with a little wisdom from each author: 

"It is a genuine awareness that my group doesn't have all the wisdom, nor will it alone create the environment in which others can flourish. Those who have different experiences and cultures will have ideas that can benefit us if we choose to be exposed to them." WJ

When I look at people on a macro level, I realize we're all parts of humanity.  Everyone wants compassion; all people want equity; all people want to love and be loved. AWT

"When we allow others to be themselves, it becomes a key for connecting with the genuine in both ourselves and others.  I have a tendency to more completely trust others when I sense that they are being genuine with me." BP

Finding my soul sister in BARBARA BROWN TAYLOR

 

"God was too great and the world was too wide to allow for so little curiosity." BBT

I am going to thank Jen Hatmaker for introducing me to Barbara Brown Taylor. I wondered why Jen found this woman so fascinating and then I read two of her books in my silent month of November and I understood.  This woman and her wisdom and understanding of life are transformative. 

More recently, I have downloaded books in to my E-Reader before committing to add them to my library.  They are cheaper to purchase and it gives me a way to test out a book to see if it will be a valuable addition to my book shelf.  I didn't do that this time.  I ordered Barbara's books "Holy Envy" and "Learning to Walk in the Dark" without the pretesting process.  These books were going to be my companions during my month of silence.  Turns out... both were amazing choices and definitely valuable additions to my bookshelf. 

HOLY ENVY: Finding God in the Faith of Others

"The God of your understanding is just that; the God of your understanding.  What you need is the God just beyond your understanding." (Rami Shapiro: quoted in "Holy Envy")

Barbara taught a World Religions class for a couple of decades in Piedmont College in Georgia, USA.  She had the opportunity to invite her students into the worlds of very different world views and cultures of the major world religions.  She not only taught about Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism and Christianity... she  brought her students on field trips to experience communities and people whose worlds revolved around these expressions of faith.  Her inspiration for the class and the book came from a Swedish Theologian by the name of Krister Stendahl. 

Three rules of religious understanding: 

1. When trying to understand another religions, you should ask the adherents of that religion, not it's enemies. 

2. Don't compare your best with their worst. 

3. Leave room for Holy Envy. 

The book is a journey for Barbara.  A journey through her class program, a journey into the worlds and lives of very different people and a journey taken with some cautious but eager to learn students. 

"Those who were religious would learn more about their own faith, and those who were not would learn how other people answer the big questions of human existence: Why are we here? What are we supposed to be doing? When we die, is that it? Whether the students agreed or disagreed with other people's answers to those questions, taking them seriously would help them ask better questions of themselves." BBT

This book gave me so much, but most importantly it brought me comfort that my choice to embrace people in their differences would not only be okay, but would benefit me in my life.  

I spent a great portion of my life in a culture and religious environment that tried telling me that it was my job in this life to change the world and its inhabitants to fit into my mould of religious belief and world view.  But thankfully, I was invited into the story of one person, much like Barbara Brown Taylor, and it changed my perspective.  

"My best view of divine reality, is still a partial view." BBT

"A world view is a wave, but not the entire ocean." BBT 

My longest friend, I call her, is a woman who was raised and still lives and practices her Hindu faith.  I had the amazing opportunity to spend two weeks in her home back in 1991 and just take in her story and her culture.  Even then, I didn't feel compelled to change her or convert her to my way of believing.  I let her and her family teach me what they believed.  Maybe inside my head I had conversations about things that didn't make sense to me, but I tried not to let that influence my education.  I was there to spend time with her and learn from her.  I was not on a Christian missions trip, and to this day, I am so glad those voices in my head trying to convince me otherwise, didn't have the final say.  Today, I still have a friend (for forty years), and she still embraces her Hindu faith, and if it gives her a full life and helps her answer those questions, then I couldn't be more happy for her. 

"Though I am retired from teaching religion, I am not done searching the scriptures, history, and tradition of my faith for good reasons to engage other people in theirs. Other days I do it because I'm starved for the God I did not make up." BBT

Thank you Barbara for confirming in me that embracing others on their journey can teach me more when I stop and learn, instead of planning to move in and conquer.  

[On a side note: I used to enjoy "missions trips" but what was enjoyable was the practicality of my experiences.  I helped clean houses in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, I helped build a house in Juarez Mexico... Even through I was taught that evangelism was the motivation for missions, for me, it was never the motivation or the joy.  The joy was always helping and lending a hand where there was a need. ]

LEARNING TO WALK IN THE DARK

"Without benefit of maturity or therapy I had no way of knowing that the darkness was as much inside me as it was outside me, or that I had any power to affect its hold on me. No one had ever taught me to talk back to the dark or even to breathe into it. The idea that it might be friendly was absurd. The only strategy I'd ever been taught for dealing with my fear of the dark was to turn on the lights and yell for help." BBT

The introduction on her book cover says it best: 

"Follow Barbara Brown Taylor on her journey to understand darkness, which takes her spelunking in unlit caves, learning to eat and cross the street as a blind person, discovering how "dark emotions" are prevented from seeing light from a psychiatrist, and re-reading scripture to see all the times God shows up at night. With her characteristic charm and wisdom, Taylor is our guide through the spirituality of the nighttime, teaching us how to find God even in darkness and giving us a way to let darkness teach us what we need to know."

I am convinced that Barbara Brown Taylor is an Enneagram 4... like me.  Subjects like Envy and Darkness are familiar ground for those "Eeyores" that dwell on the bottom of the Enneagram.  

This book was a fun journey into the idea that darkness is not the enemy.  There is something of value to be learned in the dark.  I understand the desire and even need to light up our world, but what beauty awaits us in the places we so fear to go.  This book is a journey into those places and what they can teach us. 

"Back in the cave, I do not know what I am doing either, but I like it. There is no way to tell time, which means there is no rush. There is no light, which means that I do not have to worry about how I look. There is no one beside me, which means that I do not have to come up with something to say. Above all, there is no threat." BBT

Now that doesn't sound like a place where fear dwells, but a place where one can find peace.  Maybe fear compels us to turn on the light, whereas peace finds a chair in the darkness and sits down. 

This amazing author and woman has a beautiful way of seeing the poetic world that dwells all around her.   I need more like her in my world and my life.  I am thankful for the insight she has given me and if all I can do is pass her name along and invite someone else along on the journey of discovery, then I will do just that.  

I will end this post with three of my favourite BBT quotes.  

"If your faith depends on being God's only child, then the discovery that there are others can lead you to decide that someone must be wrong -- or that everyone belongs, which means that no religion, including yours, is the entire ocean." BBT

"Engaging the faith of others is the best way to grow your own." BBT

"I asked God for religious certainty, and God gave me relationships instead." BBT