Narnia is born in "THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW" by C.S.Lewis

The Lion was pacing to and fro about that empty land and singing his new song. It was softer and more lilting than the song by which he had called up the stars and the sun; a gentle, rippling music. And as he walked and sang the valley grew green with grass. It spread out from the Lion like a pool. It ran up the sides of the little hills like a wave. In a few minutes it was creeping up the lower slopes of the distant mountains, making that young world every moment softer. The light wind could now be heard ruffling the grass. Soon there were other things besides grass. The higher slopes grew dark with heather. Patches of rougher and more bristling green appeared in the valley. CSL

"The Magician's Nephew"  or as otherwise understood... The beginning of Narnia.  It's Narnia's creation story.  It took a lot longer to get to Narnia in this book, but once we got the kids there... they witnessed the wonder of the creation of Narnia. 

All this time the Lion's song, and his stately prowl, to and fro, backwards and forwards, was going on. What was rather alarming was that at each turn he came a little nearer. Polly was finding the song more and more interesting because she thought she was beginning to see the connection between the music and the things that were happening. CSL

It didn't take long for me to be captivated by the beauty of Narnia's creation story.  It's the best beginning of a world  I've read... ever!   Maybe it is the evolution of literature that makes the magic come alive more.  But bringing life into existence with music... it simply doesn't get better than that.  And this agnostic can say that without feeling like she is being at all condescending to other creation stories. 

When a line of dark firs sprang up on a ridge about a hundred yards away she felt that they were connected with a series of deep, prolonged notes which the Lion had sung a second before. And when he burst into a rapid series of lighter notes she was not surprised to see primroses suddenly appearing in every direction. Thus, with an unspeakable thrill, she felt quite certain that all the things were coming (as she said) "out of the Lion's head." When you listened to his song you heard the things he was making up: when you looked round you, you saw them. This was so exciting that she had no time to be afraid. CSL

I am still drawn to get to the end of the collection.  I haven't been really disappointed by the Chronicles of Narnia yet.  Like I said, this one took a little while for the children to get to Narnia, so when they got there, and got their marching orders from Aslan... it required a flying horse for them to get what they needed.  The story needed a speedy conclusion.  So now I'm dreaming of Fledge... 

And then, just as the beasts had burst out of the earth, there burst out from the shoulders of Fledge wings that spread and grew, larger than eagles', larger than swans', larger than angels' wings in church windows. The feathers shone chestnut colour and copper colour. He gave a great sweep with them and leaped into the air. CSL

This makes me want to dream, not about horse back riding, but horse back flying.  I wish I could stay in the beauty of the created Narnia and quickly evolving creatures and landscape... but as has been in every book so far, there is always some darkness.  

"But do not be cast down," said Aslan, still speaking to the Beasts. "Evil will come of that evil, but it is still a long way off, and I will see to it that the worst falls upon myself. In the meantime, let us take such order that for many hundred years yet this shall be a merry land in a merry world. And as Adam's race has done the harm, Adam's race shall help to heal it. CSL

It was in this book that I got the revelation that Aslan is not Jesus... Aslan is Creator.  So I'm not stuck trying to fit Christian theology into this narrative.  This narrative can float and navigate well without the rudder of Christianity.  Maybe that is what is so captivating as I get to the end of the series.  Aslan holds space for me in a separate world than that of Christianity's narrative.  I still get to separate the whole masculine portrayal, but for the most part, it doesn't really do damage to the story.  Aslan's masculinity isn't driving his identity.  At least, not as I see the story and I am thankful for that.  

What I give you now will bring joy. It will not, in your world, give endless life, but it will heal.  CSL

I have one more book to read... "The Last Battle".  This series started with a war and looks like it gets to end with a war.  I guess that is just the portrait of life.  Maybe because these books were written in the fifties and the whole of Europe was recovering from WW2.  So I get to mix fantasy with reality.  I guess I can't ask for much more.  The books are written, not as an escape from life, but picture of life.  Maybe that's okay.  

Both the children were looking up into the Lion's face as he spoke these words. And all at once (they never knew exactly how it happened) the face seemed to be a sea of tossing gold in which they were floating, and such a sweetness and power rolled about them and over them and entered into them that they felt they had never really been happy or wise or good, or even alive and awake, before. And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if ever they were sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just round some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all was well.  CSL

Grieving through "RIVER OF TIME" by Naomi Judd

(Before you read any further... Please watch this video link. )

  Ashley and Wynonna at Naomi's Memorial Service

"My point of view was that there could always be healing, even if there isn’t always a cure. " NJ

How do I read this book now?  That was my first question.  Naomi Judd had just died at the end of April and I picked up her book at the beginning of May.  "River of Time" is subtitled "My Descent into Depression and How I Emerged with Hope".  This book was published in 2016 and in spring of 2022, she ended her life.  She only emerged with hope for six more years?    

"I felt such a deep shame about not being able to shake off this increasingly dark and immobilizing depression. The only thing sparing me from suicide was the effect it would have on those I loved, and all of the people who thought of me as a hope seller, but the odds were beginning to weigh against them." NJ

This book is dark, and yet this book is full of light.  I guess it all depends on how you quantify dark and light.  I see them in the same space, just different times of the day.  

I value stories like Naomi's.  I value real, raw and ridiculously vulnerable journeys.  What courage it takes for someone with a high profile to put herself  out there.  Maybe the hope was found more in the presence at the bottom than in the climbing out. It takes hope to climb out.  

Naomi includes a quote from her daughter Ashley who also struggled with depression... I like what Ashley said.  

“I’m very happy to talk about it because, for me, when I talk about it, it helps me to reduce my own shame. I’ve been so blessed with finding a solution that how dare I not share that solution with others that face challenges? There’s still a lot of stigma and taboo around something that’s perceived as a mental illness.” AJ

This reminds me of something Brene Brown said about shame... I can't find the quote... but it was something about the need to tell your story is what gets rid of the shame attached to it.   Secrets are fertilizer for shame... telling your story is the herbicide for shame.  ( a little agricultural analogy from me...not Brene)   

"Our pets can sense the energy depletion when you’re struggling with physical or emotional issues and they try with their natural empathy to help us heal ourselves." NJ

I totally agree, because we have two cats that know when my hubby and I are not at our optimum level of interaction.  Maybe Naomi's dogs saved her life on countless occasions.

I almost always travel with my small dog, Bijou. My psychiatrist gave me a document stating that Bijou is necessary for my emotional wellbeing. She wears a little vest to identify her as a service dog. The emotional support and the comfort Bijou brings me is incalculable. My dogs are my best friends and they have carried me through my darkest days. NJ

This was a hard read.  I felt like I was grieving her loss as I read through her words.  I wanted the story to have a happy ending, but I knew the story would end in tears.  So the goal of this read was not to get too depressed myself.  

Radical acceptance is to know that painful things are still going to happen, but how we respond makes a difference. We don’t have to condone our current reality, but we have to accept it for what it is instead of staying stuck, wishing it were different. Pain will happen, but suffering is optional. NJ

Some good wisdom comes out of Naomi as she recollects her journey through the darkness.  Maybe the wisdom is after she gets out of the hole.  I don't feel very wise when I am in the pits, but when I get up a little more and can find a better view, I find wisdom waiting for me.  

Life is short, but it’s wide.

There is no fairy-tale ending to this book, but you and I know there isn’t one in real life, either. NJ

This is the second author I have grieved while I read.  Rachel Held Evans was the first.  I want to emphasize that Naomi's death by no means invalidates her story.  It is the end of her journey and what tragically happens to people who have mental illness.  There is no judgement to be had.  That is why I wanted you to see her daughters give her the most heart warming tribute at her memorial.  That is why I want to end this post like I began it... with a song.  Naomi is the writer of both songs... my favourite Judd song is what Wynonna had the whole Ryman singing at her Mama's send off. 

One final word:  Thank you Naomi for great music, a great heart and great courage.  You gave me hope.  Love Can Build a Bridge!!!! 

"If I can bring any comfort or hope to you, too, that would give my writing this book the greatest meaning. I may still struggle, but I no longer suffer." NJ

Wynonna sings "Love Can Build a Bridge" 

More than just a Fresh Prince: "WILL" by Will Smith

 "Will" Book Trailer 

"In acting, understanding a character’s fears is a critical part of understanding his or her psyche. The fears create desires and the desires precipitate actions. These repetitive actions and predictable responses are the building blocks of great cinematic characters.

It’s pretty much the same in real life. Something bad happens to us, and we decide we’re never going to let that happen again. But in order to prevent it, we have to be a certain way. We choose the behaviors that we believe will deliver safety, stability, and love. And we repeat them, over and over again. In the movies, we call it a character; in real life, we call it personality."  WS

It's June 16, 2022 and I just finished "Will"... the book that Oprah claimed as the best memoir ever.  That was high praise and it was those words that invited me into reading the autobiography of "The Fresh Prince".  

Why did I read this book?  Why does this story matter?  It's Will Smith... he's a rich, famous American musical TV and Movie star.  What can I get out of his story?  What do I  have in common with Will?    Well... after reading his story... I found out I do have something in common with Will 

1. We were both born in 1968

2. We both walked our fathers through sickness, vulnerability and then to death. 

3. Skydiving and Bungee Jumping... (truth be told, I was younger when I did my jumping than Will was... but his jumps were a little more outrageous and dramatic. (check out the links to see Will's jumps) 

4. We both realize that as crazy and painful that it is.... our story matters.  (Will's Youtube channel has some great footage of the journey he took during the release of the book) 

5.   The last chapter or our book of life is entitled Love... because it is the most important thing.  

"It is difficult to overestimate the power of a first experience in Africa. Two steps off the airplane, and I’m already crying. I’m not sure if it was my cells or my soul that recognized their origin, but it was visceral and overwhelming. We found a quiet place just outside the airport in Maputo, Mozambique; we all huddled, held hands, knelt down, and kissed the ground. One of the airport workers yelled out from the other side of the fence, “Welcome home, brothers!” " WS

Even through I found a few things I have in common with Will, I am always looking to walk into a story because of what I don't have in common with the author.  I am wanting to expand my understanding and learn about a world I know nothing about.  

"Memory is not a flawless recording of what actually happened. It’s not a video of your experience. It’s not even a photograph. It is your psychological, artistic rendering. It is more like an abstract impressionist painting of what happened than it is a pure, unfiltered depiction. And it’s not fixed..." WS

I always enjoy the wisdom I can reap from my reads.  Will Smith's story is no exception.  I am not restricted to finding wisdom from people older than me.  Will is six months younger, which almost makes the wisdom special because we are the same age.  

"Life is learning. Period. Overcoming ignorance is the whole point of the journey. You’re not supposed to know at the beginning. The whole point of venturing into uncertainty is to bring light to the darkness of our ignorance. I heard a great saying once: Life is like school, with one key difference—in school you get the lesson, and then you take the test. But in life, you get the test, and it’s your job to take the lesson.

We’re all waiting until we have deep knowledge, wisdom, and a sense of certainty before we venture forth. But we’ve got it backward—venturing forth is how we gain the knowledge.

Over the next few years, while our ignorance would rain down a deluge of pain and suffering, when I look back, I see clearly it could have been no other way. The universe only teaches through experience." WS

I usually like to send the author a link to the blog post, but there are some exceptions.  Will Smith won't be getting an email from me for obvious reasons of inaccessiblity... but I still want to say thank you.  So maybe something in the Cosmos can pass along my appreciation for this contribution to my journey.  Because that is what it was.... a contribution.  

"There is something strangely clarifying and cleansing about looking into the eyes of someone who has accepted their pending death. The awareness of death bestows profundity and clears all the bullshit out of the way. The finality of it all makes every moment feel infinitely significant. ...  Every laugh, every story takes on weight and meaning in that simple fact. Death has a way of transforming the mundane into the magical."  WS

There were so many great quotes I could share here, but I would have to copy and paste almost half of the book to get them all in here... so my advise... read the book!  It is an adventure and I am thankful for what "Will" taught me as I read this book.  I am also thankful that Will opened his personal world and share the stories that inspired him from the people that inspired him, like his grandmother, Gigi. 

"To Gigi, “God” and “love” were synonymous; they were inseparable, and indistinguishable. She worshipped God by loving others. Love was the only commandment that mattered—to her, if you were being loving, you wouldn’t need all the others." WS

I do want to mention one thing that bothered me during this read.  I was sharing with someone that I was reading this book, and I got an earful about "Will Smith"...  I guess there has been media uproar and that seemed to warrant a "Why would you read a book by Will Smith?"   Well, I am back to my heart message.... "Every story matters."  I didn't need to update myself on the media frenzy in order to enjoy the story.  I don't need to defend the authors actions or behaviour to enjoy the story.  In this moment... the story is what matters.  To invest my time in anything else... would take away from that story.  This is the heart of empathy and compassion.  I will only get compassion by getting close to a person's story... not the mess of the media.  

"I’ve realized that for some reason, God placed the most beautiful things in life on the other side of our worst terrors. If we are not willing to stand in the face of the things that most deeply unnerve us, and then step across the invisible line into the land of dread, then we won’t get to experience the best that life has to offer."  WS

I could have ended my post there... but I realize that this is a post about Will Smith and if I didn't include at least one of the moments that made me laugh... I would be missing a big part of his character.  

"I lined all of my cars and motorcycles up in front of the house and invited Daddio over so he could see how well I was doing. Daddio pulled up in his two-tone blue Chevy work van. He always believed that vehicles should have a utility. I stood proudly out front as he got out of the van. We hugged.

“I just got the ’Vette last week,” I said.

“These are all yours?” he asked, looking disdainfully at my fresh new fleet.

“Yup,” I said proudly. My arms were respectfully by my side, but in my mind my B-boy stance was on swole.

“Boy, why you need three cars?” he said. “You only got one ass.” " WS (1&2) 

Naomi and Will: Reading back to back... Two very different journeys

 I know... This is not how I normally do my book blog posts.  But I am enjoying a journey of reading I want to share that goes beyond just the books.  I will do a blog post for each book when I am finished reading them.  This is about the journey. 

Since I started both books... "Will" and "River of Time"  I have been reading them together.  I read a chapter of "Will" then a chapter of "River of Time"  Strangely enough, I am bringing Will Smith and Naomi Judd together in a way that is helping me navigate their stories.  It's like each of them is helping me understand the other.  Both are somehow symbiotic through the process.  

I don't know if I could handle each story on their own.  Naomi's story is painful, not just because of the story, but because of her recent death.  Her book "River of Time" is about her journey through mental illness... a journey that recently ended.  I don't know if I have it in me to immerse myself totally in the book, so I am thankful that I can read a chapter and then go back to "Will". 

Will's story is captivating, but strange.  I feel more akin to Naomi's journey, and more of a stranger to Will's story.  I can only take a chapter of Will's story and then I need to find my way back to Naomi.  She offers me more of a familiar ground of comfort and I don't feel so alienated from the protagonist.  

So back and forth I go... finding joy and new insight in Will's journey and embracing empathy and sorrow in Naomi's story.  Together, they invite me into their lives.  

They seem so different: different worlds, different people,  different celebrity careers.  Will is still alive, Naomi is dead.  Will still exudes hope and purpose, Naomi surrendered to her pain.  They do have one thing in common.  Both are multiple Grammy award winners.  Maybe they did cross paths along their journey.  

I am half way through each book.  Will has just procured the roll of Will in "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" and Naomi is in the hospital fighting for her health and sanity.  I will end this post with a quote from each book.  In just these few words, one can understand these are stories that go beyond a country music legend and an Academy Award winning actor.  These are the stories of two human beings just trying to navigate their world the best they can. 

"I was done praying. Why would a loving God let me sink so low now? Why would he let the disease in my brain become so unpredictable and my thoughts so dark? I felt that God was a phony and had abandoned me to this hideous mental illness, and I was mad as hell at him. My faith withered away. I went into spiritual exile."  Naomi

"Hope sustains life. Hope is the elixir of survival during our darkest times. The ability to envision and imagine a brighter day gives meaning to our suffering and renders it bearable. When we lose hope, we lose our central source of strength and resilience." Will