"Our differences cannot be an excuse to vent our anger and animosity. We can hold two differing views and argue for them passionately without resorting to contempt, suspicion and accusations. If we can manage this, we'll not only learn more about each other, but we might also find ways to work together for our shared interests, guarding our own dignity by giving it to others." LOH
There was once a book that made a real difference in my life. That book was a team effort by three people who took a story and shared it so millions could be inspired and changed by its message. Since then, there have been books that have come out of all three of those authors, and some of those have been life changing for me as well, but there was something special about a book that did so much because three people worked together to make their message available to a world that needed to hear it.
I wonder if there is something in the story of the making of a book that says something that the book and it's message can't do alone.
Now, this year, in the chaos of 2020, a new book has come out entitled "A Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation" with a subtitle of "Creating Safe Environments for Conversations about Race, Politics, Sexuality, and Religion"
One of the authors that was a part of that team that produced that life changing book that sold millions, risked another relationship adventure to produce another life changing book. It's a very different book, in a very different genre, with a message addressing a very different issue... but something about this book rings with a similar hope. Three voices sharing a message, each bringing their own gifts to the table. Could this be a more timely project? I don't think so. Let me introduce you to the authors:
"We've got to help humanize people who are different than us." WJ
Wayne Jacobsen, co-author of "The Shack" book, has been a pivotal influence in my journey for the last twelve years. My library boasts a lot of books that have Wayne's name on the cover. This book shares space on the shelf with reads like "Finding Church", "Beyond Sundays", "A Man like No other" and "So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore". He is also hosts the God Journey Podcast.
"It's important to find people who celebrate you rather than tolerate you." BP
Bob Prater is someone I got acquainted with when I started listening to his podcast "A Christian and a Muslim Walk into a Studio" He teamed up with his Muslim friend Emad and the two of them have conversations about their stories, their journeys and issues that pervade the world they both live in. I really enjoy the banter between these two (the politics not so much) . I missed their conversation when they ended their podcast, but I discovered that they just moved the conversation to Youtube and Facebook. The conversation continues and that is a real good thing.
"In an orchestra, a soloist can produce beauty, but eventually, she sits down to contribute to the greater beauty of the whole." AWT
Arnita Willis Taylor is the author that makes this book what it is... and I am sure that Wayne and Bob would agree with me. In fact, I think they already have. The only exposure I have had to Arnita is through this book and she opened up my eyes to a whole new world, and for that I am thankful.
"Learning to communicate with people around you, especially those with whom you hold significant differences, Is not without its risks and rewards. But is it worth it?" LOH
I think it is. And when I read the conversations between Wayne, Bob and Arnita... I am understanding that they all think and feel like it is worth it.
I have a confession to make: I am Canadian and this book is written by three Americans addressing mostly American issues. It was good to learn about the issues that are so prevalent in their world and how this "language of healing" is helping them to navigate the waters they live and work in. But as the chapter 2 title says "What's in it for me?", I have to figure out how this language fits into my world, my culture, my relationships and my country.
"Compassion, although technically a noun, is at its core an action word. Being moved without taking action is simply pity. Compassion will not allow us to feel and not act on behalf of others." LOH
I want to learn how to have conversations with people. I remember conversations came easy when we all were on the same page. As soon as the different opinions came out, then the emotions heated up and the conversations ended. It seemed like the only time conversations were possible was when everyone agreed. I think I am getting better and being brave and inviting myself into a space where I can be a part of those conversations where disagreement is more present than agreement.
There were two books I read that had a great impact on me... both were conversations and both were diametrically opposed points of view, but what I came out of those reads with was an appreciation for a love that triumphed over difference. The books are "Why I Left, Why I Stayed" by Tony and Bart Campolo and "Undivided" By Patricia and Alana Raybon.
"Speaking the language of healing isn't a matter of semantics alone; it's also a matter of developing your character. When we are more at peace with ourselves, we will not be threatened by those who have different perspectives or beliefs. In fact, they can add to our own experiences and enrich it." LOH
I realize that this journey to learn "A Language of Healing" starts with those people closest to me. If I can't have this conversation with the people I love, then my efforts really mean nothing. And this doesn't mean a banter on social media, this means personal conversation.
Thank you, Wayne, Bob and Arnita for taking the time to have a conversation and share it with the world... and I hope you share it with the world. As much as the topics of conversation you have may seem primarily American, it is the idea that you had a conversation that really needs to be shared with the world... even though we have very different issues and stories, we can still learn from your journey and from your conversation and find some common ground in our own worlds.
One suggestion: I downloaded the audio to this book, and listened to it before I read the book. It was important to me to hear this conversation in the voices of the authors. It made all the difference to me. I have the book now, but when I read it, it is Wayne, Arnita and Bob's voices that I am hearing, not my own. This audio book is available on Audible.
I highly recommend this book for anyone... even in Canada. We have our polarizing issues here too! They may be somewhat different, but how we address them... well that is something we can learn from "The Language of Healing for a Polarized Nation" I will end this post with a little wisdom from each author:
"It is a genuine awareness that my group doesn't have all the wisdom, nor will it alone create the environment in which others can flourish. Those who have different experiences and cultures will have ideas that can benefit us if we choose to be exposed to them." WJ
When I look at people on a macro level, I realize we're all parts of humanity. Everyone wants compassion; all people want equity; all people want to love and be loved. AWT
"When we allow others to be themselves, it becomes a key for connecting with the genuine in both ourselves and others. I have a tendency to more completely trust others when I sense that they are being genuine with me." BP
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