Over a Thanksgiving dinner, fifty-year-old Bart Campolo announced to his Evangelical pastor father, Tony Campolo, that after a lifetime immersed in the Christian faith, he no longer believed in God. The revelation shook the Campolo family dynamic and forced father and son to each reconsider his own personal journey of faith—dual spiritual investigations into theology, faith, and Humanism that eventually led Bart and Tony back to one another.
In Why I Left, Why I Stayed, the Campolos reflect on their individual spiritual odysseys and how they evolved when their paths diverged. Tony, a renowned Christian teacher and pastor, recounts his experience, from the initial heartbreak of discovering Bart’s change in faith, to the subsequent healing he found in his own self-examination, to his embracing of his son’s point of view. Bart, an author and Humanist chaplain at the University of Southern California, considers his faith journey from Progressive Christianity to Humanism, revealing how it affected his outlook and transformed his relationship with his father.
As Why I Left, Why I Stayed makes clear, a painful schism between father and son that could have divided them irreparably became instead an opening that offered each an invaluable look not only at what separated them, but more importantly, what they shared.
(all quotes highlighted and italicized in green are some of my favourite quotes from the book.)
"Honestly, I believe that if I were to live on this earth for a thousand years, the reality of those moments would nevertheless remain a vital part of who I am." Tony
"Indeed, it may well be that the greatest mistake in this world is to live as if you have endless time when in fact you don’t." Bart
I don't often give books like this to my Mom to read, but I gave her this one. I have to admit I did it for selfish reasons. I was hoping, at the time, to have a conversation with her like Tony and Bart had. Now... I don't know what that would look like... for Mom is not like Tony and I am not like Bart.
"I must constantly remind myself that Bart’s deconversion is primarily the result of his own decisions, not mine." Tony
"In other words, for the first time in my Christian life, without consulting either my youth leaders or my Bible, I instinctively and quietly adjusted my theology to accommodate my reality." Bart
This book for me was more than just a debate between a father and son about their beliefs and convictions. It was about a conversation. I admire and respect two people who can have a conversation when those two people come from very different spaces in ideology and understanding. I try having those conversations, but I feel somewhat yucky after. I wish I could agree with people more than I do, but I am trying to be honest, at least to myself, and right now, in the space that I am in... I don't agree much with most people. I have found myself embracing a lot of different things and they don't mesh well.
"Have I simply chosen to believe in a Creator who is revealed through the scriptures, who is at work in the conversions of broken people, and who regularly appears in my own life by way of transcendent spiritual experiences, and then cherry-picked those theories and arguments that best support that choice? Of course I have. Making that choice is my act of faith." Tony
“Simply stated, human morality is and always has been fundamentally about human relationships” Bart
If I found myself picking a side in this conversation to relate to, honestly... it's been Bart's. I understand him more. I am not a parent, so I don't have the intrinsic need to have anyone on this planet follow in my footsteps. I am not a role model to be copied, but I do hope I can be an encourager along the journey. I know some parents have found that freedom to encourage their children in their own journey of life, while letting go of the expectation that those offspring will follow them in theirs. I know my Dad was and my Mom is that kind of parent. I don't think Mom is worried about my soul, as much as she is hoping I find peace.
"Something else the two of us agree on is the need for both parties in this conversation to be more interested in listening to and understanding the other person than in convincing them to change their mind." Tony and Bart
Boy, that sounds like the place to long for. I want that more than anything. As much as I want the freedom to travel down any "rabbit trail" I can find; I also would like some restraint that shows respect to the people most precious to me. I don't need to change anyone as much as I want to love them... because I don't want to be changed, as much as I want to be loved. If there is anything I have appreciated in Tony and Bart's story, it is the understanding that they still love each other very much. That has been obvious in the conversations I have heard.
I do want to plug one more thing. I am a supporter and listener of Bart's podcast Humanize Me. I like the conversations I hear on this podcast, because I have avoided them for most of my whole life. I use to be scared of hearing people talk about life after faith, because of what I believed about their eternal destination. But it's freeing to listen to people's story when I'm not worrying about something I can't prove anyway.
"This is not just good theology; it is also a good strategy for keeping the conversation going and maintaining close relationships across the faith divide. Simply stated, even when we know better, most of us feel deeply hurt and offended when we realize the person we are talking to genuinely believes we are doomed to hell. In a real sense, to write someone off that way is the ultimate act of disrespect, effectively negating every good thing they have ever said or done unless they change their mind and agree with us." Tony and Bart
No comments:
Post a Comment