Wow… this is the best book in the trifecta of reads that have invited me into a diverse conversation. I've read Bart and Tony Campolo's book "Why I Left, Why I Stayed" and Patricia and Alana Raybon's book "Undivided" and while both were amazing and inviting reads, this book is the most inviting. There seemed less emphasis on the desire of the "Christian" to change the "Non-Christian". The emphasis seemed to be more on understanding Matt Casper's story. I think I really resonated with that. I am on "the other side" now and maybe that is what makes this such a compelling read. The other two books were read when there was still some residual "Christianity" left in me. This time through, I was hoping to find a place where I could come to peace with my life, so I was looking for how Matt was at peace with who he is.
This is a follow up book to another read, that Jim Henderson and Matt Casper wrote and I read over a decade ago… "Jim and Casper go to Church". Jim Henderson, a Christian, invited Matt Casper, an atheist, to attend churches across America. Matt gave his honest opinion about what he as "an outsider" saw in their churches that maybe most of the people that attended took for-granted or simply missed. Maybe it is time to reread that one and get a fresh look at the journey again.
I admire his respect and willingness to venture into all those churches From what I read, Matt really wants to help people understand him more and focus less on the differences and more on the commonality of their humanity.
I don't know how to begin to share quotes to invite people into this story. There were so many. To pick and choose my favourite was not easy, but I found some that really encouraged me… most of them are from Matt but I found a couple from Jim that were also encouraging. I will share those and then summarize what I hope is the outcome for me for reading it.
Matt Casper:
"For me, it’s not the start of anything. I see it more as the completion of a transaction begun when we were born. Death is the price we pay for living. A fact, plain and simple. That’s how I see it. And it’s not just our own deaths—it’s any death. Being in denial of death or living in fear of death is like going swimming and refusing to think you’ll get wet or being afraid of getting wet. Getting wet is part of going swimming. It’s unavoidable and intrinsic."
"You know, people who are trying to save others by using the promise of heaven or the threat of hell might want to keep in mind that promises and threats only work if both parties agree on the legitimacy or value of the threats or promises...
The threat of hell hanging over the head of a person who doesn’t believe in it doesn’t really accomplish anything at all . . . other than maybe pushing that person away."
"So this “end of experience” is really only the end of our personal experience. Once we’ve lived, we’re always alive. We leave our mark—the things we did, the words we said, the impressions we made all have a ripple effect while we’re alive that continues after we’re gone. We live on in how what we said and did affected others."
"By that token, it’s easy for me to say that Jesus is very much alive today, as His words and deeds continue to impact others in tremendous ways. It’s easy for me to say that John Lennon is alive too. As is the father whose children live their lives according to how he raised them. As is my mom."
"The problem I have with some atheists is the same problem I have with some Christians: certainty. You can’t unequivocally prove your beliefs, so c’mon, take it easy.”
“But another part of me thinks that being on the attack is a pretty reasonable response when you consider that I’m being damned or dismissed by someone I don’t even know and who has never bothered to get to know me either.”
The thing is, the only reason they think I’m going to burn in hell or that I’m ignorant is because I don’t agree with them. They invalidate my opinion—my very life!—because I don’t share their exact beliefs. It’s like, no matter how I may live my life, no matter how kind or caring I may be, no matter how well I may serve others, because of that one difference, the judgment has been made, the die has been cast, and the fires are waiting for me. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think there’s anything remotely Christian about that—at least based on what I’ve read about how Jesus treated people."
They seem to know that, while the Bible may be two thousand years old and some of its language and cultural references may be a bit outdated, there is a core principle voiced clearly and repeatedly by the founder of their belief system: love others, be charitable, don’t be a hypocrite. No matter what circumstances we may find ourselves in today, that’s a timeless message.
Speaking for my own atheism, it’s not something I celebrate, really. Nor is it something I mourn. It’s just something that is, for me"
Jim Henderson:
"I’ve been astounded to discover how people generally lack curiosity about other people, other beliefs, other perceptions, and other ways of making sense of reality. Christians claim to be following the one true God, who has transformed us and given us an eternal and abundant life. We, of all people, should be the most curious, the least threatened by differences, and the kindest people on the face of this earth."
"My Jesus did not come to earth to prove He was right. He came to prove He was love. He didn’t come just to save the world; He came to serve the world. Saving us was “baked in” to serving us, so of course He did that as well. My Jesus was not afraid of engaging anyone, be they lepers, prostitutes, tax collectors, or Pharisees. My Jesus managed to connect with an incredibly diverse group of humans without losing His own humanity."
Ruby's Reflections:
I am compelled to this kind of story and this kind of journey. I long to feel like there will be someone who would invite me into a their world just to be a friend without the agenda of conversion. I get it… I have not only seen the arrogance of Christianity… I lived it. I used to believe that it was the agenda to change and convert everyone on the planet to "our way". Maybe if the focus had been on sharing some of that "timeless message" of Jesus, maybe I wouldn't have lost my interest. Maybe if I was allowed my uncertainty and still allowed my community, then maybe I would still be in a community. But I am like those lepers in Jesus day that were forced to live outside the city walls, because they were told that what they had was contagious and damaging to those living inside the walls of the city.
I am pretty open on my blog about my journey, but not as open in my conversations with my friends and family. Either they don't read my blog and aren't aware of my current journey, or they have read it and for the most part… don't bring it up. I don't know. I don't have too many people telling me "I am going to hell." So for that, Matt Casper has my compassion. But maybe it is easier to tell a stranger online these things, than it is a friend or family member.
I do have friends and family members that are constantly "encouraging" me with kind notes and letters… hoping I find my way "back to Jesus" one day. It seems more subtle for me. I still don't know if I like it or don't like it. It is a part of them, so I let it be. I am like Matt, in that I understand my journey is subject to change on an ongoing basis. So all I have to testify to is where I am right now.
I am all about Love, Kindness, Compassion, Hope, Authenticity, Gratitude, Wisdom and Growth as a Human being. I want to be a better human. I can't force my brain to conform to what others would like it to conform to. That ship has sailed. I read too many books, followed too many journeys, listened to too many stories… I left my bubble to find out what the rest of the world was talking about, and then I found it was impossible to go back.
I've made mistakes in the last years in my communications with my Christian friends and family. I need to love them more by respecting their beliefs. Even though I don't embrace a lot of it anymore, I can still value what it has brought to my life. I am who I am because of how my parents raised me and the places and people who have made a difference in my life. I just want to be the best "me" I can be.
Thank you "Jim and Casper" for your amazing reads. Thank you Matt Casper for your authenticity and endurance. You didn't deserve the mudslinging that you got. It is embarrassing and downright appalling how people treat other people when all we really need to do is be human.
I think Jesus had a good handle on humanity. I still like the stories, they are encouraging and helpful for the journey to becoming a better human. Whether history or stories, they show us a better way of doing life.
"I’m probably closer to knowing God than I’ve ever been before. And that’s because people who are close to God have also chosen to be close to me." Matt Casper
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