Listening to the story "DECONVERTED" by Seth Andrews

 I don't do audio books as a general practice.  I don't like them for one big reason.  I can't highlight quotes as I go through the book.  I could harvest quotes but I would have to stop the recording, listen to the quote over and over again until I can manually write down the quote. I do that when I hear a good quote on Youtube... and it's somewhat painful.  

I first came across Seth Andrews book "Deconverted"  a while ago and wanted to download it into my Apple Books. The book version wasn't available... only the audio version.  I passed it by because, like I said... I don't do audio.  

I had taken a break from Deconversion stories because I had too much.  I plunged myself back into my puzzles and binge watched "Reba" and "Little House on the Prairie".  Maybe all the stories got too heavy for me.  I needed a reprieve.  Just recently,  I started listening to The Atheist Experience and The Line again.  I had shelved those as well, needing respite from the conflicts that those shows are so good at sharing.  I found the inspiration to listen to stories again.  So when this book came across my screen yesterday... I downloaded the audio version (still the only one available on my Apple Books).  I spent Sunday listening to the whole book.  

It is the first time a book drew laughter and heart wrenching tears in the same day.  I took no notes, I just listened to Seth's story.  There is no wonder that as Seth told me about his growing up years, that I started to resonate with the culture he talked about.  The music influences were the same; the timeline was similar; his world seemed to resonate with my world.  I just did a Google look up.  I'm fourteen days older than Seth.  

His story was different.  His family was different.  His American upbringing didn't really shadow my Northern Canadian childhood. However,  a lot of the emotion felt familiar.  

The tears came when Seth talked about Rich Mullens.  I had never heard the story of how Rich had died, so that was a revelation to me.  Had I heard the story over thirteen months ago, I don't know if the tears would have fallen as hard.  It was thirteen months yesterday since my sister died in a horrific motorcycle accident.  She was riding her bike on a Idaho mountain highway, and she drifted into the oncoming lane and was hit by a semi-truck head on.   When I heard the story from my brother-in-law for the first time (who was on his own bike ahead of her at the time), he looked at me and said. "That's a movie you don't want to see."   What I learned then was that the whole collision was recorded by the semi-truck's dash camera. 

For the next year,  I would replay that scene in my mind every time I saw the grill of a semi-truck on the highway.  It was a movie I didn't see in person, but one I created in my mind... over and over again.  So when I heard the story of Rick Mullens and his own impact with a truck... I felt that crash all over again.  When Seth shared about Rich Mullens ministry, I thought about my sister's ministry.  Rich was 41 when he died, my sister was 57.  Both died too young and the sadness of that for me had nothing to do with the "ministry".   

The big difference in our stories... Seth's and mine... I had already deconverted by the time of my sister's accident.  It wasn't the family accident that was transformational in my slide away from Christianity.    That honour belonged to my sister's 26 yr old first born son... six and half years earlier.  It was his tragic accident that derailed me (and that is a whole other story). 

I listened again to the "Awesome God" chapter this morning  ( Rich Mullen's story).  I cried again as I listened to the accident details.  There were no seatbelts.  The semi driver that my sister collided into wasn't wearing a seatbelt... and neither was my sister (motorbikes don't come equipped with those).  Rich's accident was in Illinois, my sister's collision was in Idaho.  Rich was a musician, my sister was a musician.  I wondered how many times my sister led her church in singing "Awesome God".  Did she know about Rich's last moments?  

This book contains more gold than just one chapter... so I will listen to it again... and this time... I'll take notes.  I really enjoyed the last chapter where Seth does a run down of the problem passages in the Bible.  Most of that isn't news for me.    It is great reference material.  Maybe I need to get my hands on a hard copy sometime.  I don't think I will need it anytime soon.  I can't see myself being in a space right now where I will need those kind of bullets.  But it's nice to know I have access to them.  

Thanks to Seth's deep dive into the Bible... I don't have to do that myself.  I think those days are over for me.  I don't need to go there anymore.  The Bible is one book that holds no more joy for me.  

Thank you Seth for your story and including quotes from people around the world... even my province of origin (B.C.) has a place in your book.  One quote stood out for me... 

"We can have different opinions, but we can't have different facts."  Benny from New York.  

I really liked Richard Dawkins intro.  I think he nailed it when he said... 

"His is a great escape story.  A light house beam for others."  RD

"Deconverted" is so worth listening too over and over again... and I hope one day... it will be a great read.  Thank you Seth.  

P.S.  I highlighted Seth Andrews in my Atheism for Lent journey this year.  Check that post out here. 

Retracing the stories of the Greek Gods in MYTHOS by Stephen Fry

“The shattered world was still smoking from the savagery of war. Zeus saw that it needed to heal, and he knew that his own generation, the Third Order of divine beings, must manage better than the first two had done. It was time for a new order, an order purged of the wasteful bloodlust and elemental brutality that had marked earlier times.

To the victors, the spoils. Like a chief executive who has just completed a hostile takeover, Zeus wanted the old management out and his people in. He allotted each of his siblings their own domain, their areas of divine responsibility. The President of the Immortals chose his cabinet.

For himself, he assumed overall command as supreme leader and emperor, lord of the firmament, master of weather and storms: King of the Gods, Sky Father, Cloud Gatherer. Thunder and lightning were his to command. The eagle and the oak were his emblems, symbols then as now of fierce grace and unopposable might. His word was law, his power formidably great. But he was not perfect. He was very, very far from being perfect.” SF 

It was during my grade five year that I was introduced to Greek Mythology.  I remember it sparked something in me that my own religious stories somehow didn't.  I was transported into the stories without needing to embrace them as reality.  They held a beauty all their own and I didn't have to prove or disprove them.  I could just embrace the story.  

My love for myths carried on into my teen years with a love for Hercules, both the animated version and Kevin Sorbo's recreation.  Again the stories came alive for me.  

Now in my fifties and decades removed from my youthful interest in Greek Mythology, I decided that I would go on a journey again through the lives of Zeus, Athena, Apollo, Hermes, Persephone,  Prometheum and a plethora of other deities and their offspring (both divine and human) all thanks to Stephen Fry.  

“You would think that Midas had learned his lesson by now. The lesson that repeats and repeats throughout the story of man. Don’t mess with the gods. Don’t trust the gods. Don’t anger the gods. Don’t barter with the gods. Don’t compete with the gods. Leave the gods well alone. Treat all blessings as a curse and all promises as a trap. Above all, never insult a god. Ever.” SF

What I like about Greek Myths is that they don't hide the stories behind religious dogma.  Maybe that is what happened thousands of years ago, but today, we can enjoy the myths for their story and leave it at that.  That is why they remain beautiful to me.  Stephen Fry does an amazing job of bringing all the stories into one novel so one can just ride along on the journey. 

I was first introduced to Stephen Fry when he guest starred on the TV show "Bones".  He played psychiatrist turned chef Dr. Gordan Wyatt. He has since become an intellectual inspiration for me as I have listened to his Youtube conversations with the likes of Laurence Krauss, Jordan Peterson and Richard Dawkins.  His amazing linguistic abilities makes any conversation with him far from dull.  

“Myths, however, are imaginative, symbolic constructs. No one believes that Hephaestus ever truly existed. He stands as a representation of the arts of metalwork, manufacture, and craftsmanship. That such a figuration is portrayed as swarthy, ugly, and hobbling tempts us to interpret and explain. Perhaps we noticed that real blacksmiths, while strong, are often dark, scarred, and so muscle-bound as to be bunched and alarming to look upon. Perhaps cultures required that the fit, tall, and whole always be taken into the ranks of fighting men and that, from the first, the halt, lame, and shorter male children might be trained in the forges and workshops rather than drilled for battle. Any god of blacksmiths that the collective culture imagined, therefore, would be likely to reflect the human archetype they already knew. Gods of this kind are created in our image, not the other way round." SF

This book is an amazing read for anyone who loves stories and can enjoy them for what they were always meant to be... stories.  Maybe one day, the stories I grew up with in Christianity will one day find their place along side the Greek stories that preceded them and most likely inspired them.  Maybe one day people can read the stories of Adam and Eve, Moses and David and even Jesus, not as a recital of history, but as stories or myths that can inspire us, teach us and help us be better humans... maybe even better humans that the ones that were written about thousands of years before us.  

“Myths, to put it simply and obviously, deal with gods and monsters that can’t be observed or pointed at. It may be that some members of the ancient Greek population believed in centaurs and water dragons, gods of the sea and goddesses of the hearth, but they would have had a hard time proving their existence and convincing others. Most of those who told and retold the myths would have been aware, I think, at some level of their consciousness, that they were telling fictional tales. They might have thought the world was once peopled with nymphs and monsters, but they could be fairly certain that such beings no longer existed.” SF

Changing my life with "THE CARNIVORE DIET" by Dr. Shawn Baker MD

“At this point, it should be clear that I believe nutrition plays a tremendous role in the development, prevention, and mitigation of darn near every common chronic disease. If nutrition affects disease, as I believe it does, then what happens when hundreds of thousands of people try to use a select nutritional scheme to fix a chronic issue. Well, certainly there will be a ton of noise created in the medical community, and there will be an endless supply of bias and plenty of confusing data. Sounds kind of like the system we have in place. Eventually, though, I believe that some signal will rise above the noise, and the cream will rise to the top. People will cast aside that which does not work and will replace it with that which does.” SB

When I changed this blog to highlight transformational reads, I was on a journey to better my spiritual and soulful health.  That journey has taken years to get to a place where I have found some comfort in who I am.  Now I find my interest in reading material has shifted away from deconstruction and deconversion subjects and stories.  Now I am reading about stuff I have put on the shelf for too long.  If the human being is made up of mind, body and soul... It's time that I focus a little more effort on the other two thirds of my identity.  This book is going to address the body third of my story.  

"People make many assumptions about nutrition that are more firmly rooted in belief than in sound evidence."  SB

After three years of a much lower carbohydrate intake, my husband and I have switched to eating animal based products as the main stay of our food intake.  We have become carnivores.  I'm not a big fan of the word "diet", as more often than not, it indicates a temporary change in behaviour.  My husband and I are trying to affect life change with our eating habits.  I'm not interested in dieting as much as I am interested in spending the rest of my days on this planet with less physical pain and more mental awareness.  For us, Carnivore is helping us towards that goal. 

“Remember, protein is used to build our bones, internal organs, muscles, and skin. If those tissues are depleted, plenty of food is necessary to bring them back to normal function. Also, remember that weight loss is not the short-term goal of the carnivore diet; instead, get healthy and stop with the constant anxiety created by day-to-day fluctuations in weight. Just relax and enjoy the freedom of eating."  SB (I added the emphasis!) 

I am almost three months in to "The Carnivore Diet".  It's an adjustment period to what works for me and learning how to listen to my body.  I am grateful to have a husband who loves to make amazing meat either on the BBQ or in our cast iron fry pan.  We have found great meat sources in the way of a local butcher shop and a local organic food store.  We even found a great source of good priced meat from my alma mater, Olds College, in Olds, Alberta.  They host a great meat store supplied with cuts prepared by the Meat Processing students.  

So why meat?  Because it works better for us as an energy source than plants do.  

 

“Given the structure of our digestive systems, humans do have some small capacity to extract a minimal amount of calories from fibrous plants. However, relying on only plants to supply our nutritional needs would be a pretty poor strategy, particularly because our brains are such energy hogs.” SB

The human body is more adequately designed to process meat... where as it struggles to process plants.  Plants are by nature have evolved to resist being eaten.  They have developed defence strategies to make sure they survive as a species.   

“Plants get pissed off when we destroy those particular parts of their anatomy; therefore, they protect those areas with toxic and bitter-tasting chemicals. Indeed, the vast majority of plants are toxic for humans to eat. SB

This is my blog, so I will get somewhat graphic for a moment.  The first great change I noticed after I stopped consuming vegetables was that I was able to poop less often and without plugging up.  Meat and protein is used by my body.  There is much less going out the exit door now.  Ask yourself this... why does corn go out the back door like it came in the front door?  There are some things that the body just doesn't like to use.  Those things get a quick exit and sometimes painful exit.  

"We need fat, protein, and some vitamins and minerals.  We require no other nutrients to live or - I'll argue - to thrive.  We require zero carbohydrates, zero phytochemicals and zero fiber."  SB

There is controversy in this journey like most things I have embraced as of late.  Maybe it's all the money tied up in the sugar industry.  Money affects media, education and information.  It's hard to know what is genuine anymore when the almighty dollar has it's grubby little fingers in every aspect of our world.  The only way is to try something and find out if it works for you.  It may require going against the flow.  

“There are lots of questions and differing opinions about the carnivore diet. The upshot is that you need to do what works for you. For some, this diet will not be a good approach. Some people are so metabolically tied to carbohydrates that they don’t tolerate an abrupt transition, and ultimately it just might not be doable at all. If you have medical concerns or issues, involve your physician. Not all doctors will be supportive of this diet, although there are more and more doctors who are willing to empower their patients.” SB

Sean Baker is a Medical Doctor.  It's why his voice matters.  He's not the only medical doctor to support a low carbohydrate lifestyle.  This may seem like a new idea for most people, but humans have been eating like this since we dwelt in caves.  I am okay with this not being for everyone.  But it is working for my husband and I, so we are committed to continuing and seeing how our lives can enriched by eating what our bodies most desire.  And that for us is found on "The Carnivore Diet" 

I don't miss the carbs.  I don't have cravings anymore. I have discovered satisfaction after eating a good ribeye that my husband so lovingly cooks for me.  I'm not constantly thinking about food.  I still have some issues that need addressing, but I am only a rookie.  But I am thankful for all the help that Dr. Shawn Baker has given in this book.  I'd recommend it for anyone who wants to have a body that will work for them to its maximum potential.  I am glad my husband and I spend three years on low carbohydrate intake before going to carnivore,  but everyone is different.  I wish I had known about this decades ago, but I'm glad I found it now.   

“THE BEGINNER PHASE

How long does the beginner phase last? It can vary, but here are some signs that identify you as an experienced carnivore rather than a beginner:

• Food no longer rules you, and you no longer see food as a form of entertainment. Instead, it’s a deeply satisfying form of nutrition.

• You have no problem passing up a food that was previously one of your favorites.

• You can go out socially and not cave to pressure to eat something just to satisfy someone else.

• Nothing other than meat seems like food.

For some people, these signs are evident within a few months. Other people need years to reach all these milestones.” SB

Here are some links on Youtube if you are interested in checking out what Carnivore can offer you. 

Dr. Shawn Baker's Youtube Channel

Dr. Ken Berry's Youtube Channel. 

Steak and Butter Gal Youtube Channel

Finding Courage for Atheists in "WE OF LITTLE FAITH" by Kate Cohen

"When it hit me that I was responsible for teaching my children everything, I knew in that moment that I must do something about this. And for me, “this” was the mindless transmission of information that I actually believed to be false, and “something” was telling the truth⁠—to myself, to my kids, and, finally, to others." KC

Before I start into my breakdown of why I found this book so amazing, I want to admit to myself and whoever reads this blogpost that I currently identify as an Agnostic Atheist.  I go into further detail about that label in a recent post in my blog "My Agnostic Closet" entitled "101223 "Agnostic Atheist" A label that works for me"

I wrote that post during my read of this book.  Because of a challenge that Kate put forward to her readers in her chapter "Why I don't call myself an Agnostic."  I explain in that post why I still use the label Agnostic, and even after my read of Kate's book, the label will stay, but maybe I can have more courage with the Atheist part of the identifier. 

"Most of us have grown up with this reflexive deference to religion, and many of us continue to act on it even if we don’t ourselves believe in God. I still sometimes have to remind myself that it’s okay not to tiptoe around religion as if it were a soufflé that could collapse and then the dinner party will be ruined." KC

I wish I could go forward in my life and my relationships without feeling like I am tiptoeing around other people's faith expressions and religious practices.  I am not silent and I don't feel like I am pretending, but I do avoid the whole story with some friends and family.  (I may be out on my blogs... but most of my people don't come down this on-line rabbit trail with me.) 

"I am not willing to say “that’s just my opinion” about whether something is fact or fiction, right or wrong. All beliefs⁠—mine, theirs, Mike Pence’s⁠—are not equal. Many are wrong. Some are harmlessly wrong (I’ll go to heaven after I die), and some are harmfully wrong (gay people will go to hell after they die)." KC

I totally understand this, but I still struggle around the dividing line between what is harmlessly wrong and harmfully wrong.  Some things are obvious, but not all things are in my world. I know how to play the role of martyr in my circles; and I don't know how long that will work for me.  Just being painfully honest.  

And how harmless is the belief "I'll go to heaven after I die" when you get to spend eternity without your child that doesn't believe.  My sister Jennifer died this summer, and I can surmise that my mother heard a lot of comments from others, something like this. 

"Won't it be wonderful to see Jennifer in Heaven one day?' 

What goes through my mother's mind when she hears that now?  

"Yes, but what about Ruby?"  

There is nothing harmless about that.  

"Would I want to believe she still existed somewhere if she didn’t anymore? I guess, if I really thought I would see her again, I would. But mostly I would want her back. Want her back. Want her back. I would never not want her back, never not want to go back to the day before I lost her. I would only, maybe, years later, learn not to think about it as much." KC

That is right Kate, I want my sister back... here on Planet Earth.  Not in some cosmic utopia.  I need her here.  But my wants and needs aren't going to make that a reality, either here now or after I'm dead.  

"We want to love, to be loved, and to deserve love. For atheists, and even for believers, it hardly matters whether God is good or wants us to be good. What matters is that we know what’s bad⁠—inside, we know⁠—and we want to be good." KC

I have made myself clear for a while now that...

"Love Matters More". 

"Love is the energy that drives the universe." 

"Love drives out Fear."

I even can add that somewhere in that mix that Love helps us as humans find the line between good and bad.  Love is intrinsic in our nature.  At least that is my experience.  Something in my DNA needs me to support my people in order for me to keep existing well.  To jeopardize that doesn't make sense to me.  Thank you Kate for adding that.  Morals aren't found in the obedience of laws, they are in the core of a human to survive and thrive in this world.  Call it a basic survival strategy.  We need to be nice to people.  

"If you pretend to believe when you really don’t, you allow people to behave as if belief in the supernatural is universal. As if it’s not just the norm, but the only belief that is or should be normal." KC

The subtitle of Kate's book is "Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (And Maybe You Should Too)"  Now I will be the first to admit, I don't like being "shoulded on".  I don't think after reading the book, that I came away with the conclusion that Kate is "shoulding on" me to out myself as an atheist.  She is so compassionate for those who don't have that easy of an option to do so.  But maybe for some of us who are almost out of the nest and just need a little encouragement to be honest... I think I found that here.  Maybe I found a little more self worth during this read.  I discovered once again that there are many ways up the mountain of life, and believing it is okay.  So thank you so much, Kate!  I am so glad to add your voice to my ever growing collection of inspirational reads and hope one day when I look back, I will treasure the "Rocket Ride" that this book has sent me on.  

"Of course, you can call yourself a humanist or an agnostic, you can call yourself lapsed or nonobserving or unaffiliated or “spiritual but not religious.” “Free thinker”⁠—fine. But if you don’t believe that there is a supernatural being in charge of the universe, then I strongly recommend that you call yourself an atheist, both to defang the word and to clarify the point." KC

Check out Kate's interviews: 

Seth Andrews: The Thinking Atheist

Hemant Mehta: The Friendly Atheist

Bart Campolo: Humanize me

What a way to end my book fast: "SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING" BY T.J. Wray

"Often conscripted to the shadows in our time of sorrow, surviving siblings rarely feel they have the right to grieve beyond a few weeks. In a society that doesn't always encourage healthy mourning in general, we are indeed the forgotten bereaved." TJW

 My older sister Jennifer has kiboshed a lot of plans in my life... so why not this one.  I had every intention to not need reading for a year, and then she goes and dies on me.  

I found this book recommended on a Sibling Grief online support group I joined after Jennifer's accident.  How was I supposed to not take advantage of someone else's story?  That is what has been helping me on life's journey up until now.  

Each of us will react differently to the news of a brother's or a sister's death, and there's hardly a standard of behavior to which we must all subscribe. TJW

T.J mentioned that she had been looking for a book  when her brother died, and couldn't find one.  So she decided to write one herself, and invite other survivors of sibling loss to join her in her story.  This book is her story, mixed with other stories from people who have lost adult siblings.  

Feelings are not a choice; they are simply your own response to an event. TJW

Reading this book helped me to feel validated.  Hanging out with the stories of others who have lost siblings, gave me a community that was lacking for me.  I have had amazing support, but not the kind that I get in these stories and in the sibling support groups.

In dealing with the reactions of others, try, as much as you're able, to let people know what's helpful and what isn't. Avoid wasting your energy by becoming angry and bitter because you've been let down by people who claim to care. Just realize there are some people who will step up to the plate for you, and there are others who can't even enter the ballpark. TJW

This book was not only helpful as a guide with the loss of my sister, but there were so much great advice and wisdom for all areas of loss.  It would be a bummer if the only people who read this book are the survivors of sibling loss...because there is gold for every kind of loss within the pages.  

You are entitled to feel anger at the injustice of your brother's or sister's death, and feelings of anger connected to your sibling's death will probably surface every now and then for the rest of your life. My hope, however, is that you express your anger in healthy and appropriate ways that both validate your feelings and maintain your dignity. TJW

Anger has been my companion on this journey from the night I heard about her death.  

Most of us would like to believe that our siblings appear in our dreams by choice, to spend time with us or to deliver a special message. There is absolutely no reason to discount this possibility. No one, including the so-called experts, knows for certain just what, if anything, happens to us after we die. TJW

I liked the chapter on dreams, but not because of my sister.  The dreams have not come with her yet.  But I had significant dreams after my nephew died and it was refreshing to read her perspective on grief dreams and feel like those dreams were mine to embrace however I chose to embrace them. 

Many reasons for undeserved suffering have been put forth, such as the notion of suffering as a divine method of instruction—to teach us or others some valuable lesson—or the idea that our suffering is our just desserts, a punishment for some undefined human failing. But the bottom line is that none of these supposed reasons can be reconciled with the concept of an all-loving God. A God who loves us would not—could not—intentionally cause our suffering, for whatever divine reason. TJW

I think my favourite chapter was Chapter 9 on Faith, Religion and Spirituality.  It validated the biggest loss of my life and gave me space to understand a lot better my grief journey with my sister.  Maybe T.J. Wray still has some spirituality and faith, but she gave me space to navigate my loss without that being the forefront and foundation. 

 If you've had trouble with religion in the past, either with a particular church's teaching, an individual member of the clergy, or any other issue that caused you to part ways with a particular religion, then your brother's or sister's death may actually reopen old wounds. Quite often, for one reason or another, the religion in which we were raised seems inadequate or unacceptable as we grow into adulthood. TJW

My faith unraveled over years but came to a significant head last year when I "buried Jesus".  Losing Jennifer has inadvertently brought Jesus "back to life" in the words of others that can't understand how I can navigate my sister's death without a "living Jesus".  

And truth can be found not only in religion, but also in books, in our own experiences, and in stories and advice from others. Perhaps most important, the search for truth is essentially a search for meaning. Finding meaning in our loss enables us to incorporate it into our lives and to heal. TJW

I do want to extend my gratitude to T.J. Wray for sharing her story and so many others.  These words have been an oasis and comfort in a very messed up time.  I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost a sibling.. and even if you haven't but want to understand this kind of loss.  It's a great read.  And as I mentioned before... there are so much great wisdom in dealing with loss in general, that maybe it really doesn't matter what kind of loss you have experienced.  This book can help shed light on some very dark corners of grief.  

I've already mentioned that I'm not the same person I was before I lost my brother. I'm a little wiser, a little more compassionate, a little bit tougher. But I'm glad for these changes because they remind me of the journey that brought me to this place—this place of acceptance and, finally, peace. TJW