This Post is written for the kids out there
(younger or older)
who can still give their Dad
a Father's Day Card ...
It's written by someone who can't anymore.
It's written by someone who can't anymore.
I am going to start off by offering no Guilt trips or Shame sessions in this post. This is really not my desire to guilt anyone or shame anyone. But I am hoping to impart a little encouragement and a little inspiration
I was in Canadian Tire yesterday and saw a couple of Father's Day cards that stopped me in my tracks. Both of them had simple verses inside, but what caught my attention was the picture on each card. It was of a hot air balloon.
This will be the sixth year I have walked by card racks in the store around Father's Day and wanted to pick one up for my Dad. This year I was almost tempted to do just that. You see... these cards were reminding me of something that Dad and I wanted to do together, but didn't. I wrote about it in the post A Hot Air Dream.
Father's Day is hard day for some people. It was for me. All my negative feelings toward my father seemed to come out one day of the year. It was the day of the year that I would skip church. Father's day sermons were not on my like-to-listen-to list for a lot of years.
I shared this in a letter not that long ago.
"Kids are weird that way. The grudges we have against our dads seem to surface on Father’s day. Birthday cards and Christmas cards aren’t hard to get... but Father’s day cards... Go figure. "
I find a bit of irony in the fact that Mother's day doesn't seem to have the same problem. Our issues with our Mom's don't prevent us from sharing cards and flowers with her in May... but come June the card sales are different .
I can make a good guess that Mother's Day cards far out sell Father's Day cards.
Why is that???
Why are we more forgiving of our mothers than our fathers? Day after day, both parents have their opportunity to disappoint their children. Why is that? Can it be that kids have set the expectations of their parents way too high. Mom and Dad are supposed to be the epitome of perfection. Right???
Now here's the catch... both parents are not flawless, but somehow, Moms are more forgiven than Dads. Just ponder that one for a while. Do our Dads hurt us more? Do our Moms love us more?
Moms didn't have to resort to fear like Dads did. Moms had love; Dads had fear. Is it any wonder now why Moms get more cards than Dads do?
I think if we, as kids, can wrap our heads around this, then the journey to forgiving our Dads will be a lot shorter. Dads were given the shorter straw in the parenting responsibilities. They didn't carry their children for nine months, they didn't give birth, and if you belong to my generation, dads didn't get up in the early mornings to feed their children. Dads worked to provide for their family, Moms stayed home and actually built a relationship with their children and learned to love their kids.
Then when those kids bent the rules or broke something, then it was Dad's responsibility to get involved... which usually required Fear.
Again, I ask... is it any wonder why Moms get more cards than Dads?
THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD WITH WHAT THEY WERE GIVEN.
I already admitted that Father's Day was hard for me when my Dad was alive. I have something else to admit. I only had two months to experience PERFECT LOVE with my dad, and that wasn't any where near June. I had a lot of years where I set the bar too high for my dad to jump over. He told me once that he did the best he could... I just chose not to believe it until he was gone.
During the last two months of his life, there was a big change in our relationship. The fear was gone. There was no longer any need for him to instil fear in my life and no longer any need for me to receive it from him. For two months, while his body was taken over by cancer, PERFECT LOVE became more powerful than fear. Everything changed.
I want to share something with you right now. It is a powerful verse from the Bible. ( 1 JOHN 4)
PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR.
PERFECT LOVE is something your Dad isn't capable of on his own. PERFECT LOVE is something you are not capable of on your own. PERFECT LOVE is God given. Wrap your head around that?.. You can't. This is something the mind can't grasp or understand or justify. PERFECT LOVE.
I can't tell you how to love your Dad... I can only tell you that you can... with the God infused PERFECT LOVE in you. It has all the power to change you if you are up for the challenge. All you have to do is ask.
Maybe it all starts this year... with a Father's day card.
P.S. Thank you to all the Dads our there that shared your pictures on the internet.